Icing on the Cake

Give Me Love~Ed Sheeran

Peeta

"What do you want?" She blurts out looking exceptionally beautiful and fierce at the same time.

Eyes narrowed at me, her lips pressed in a thin line considering how full they actually are. She's in her pajamas, robe, and fuzzy socks.

I don't know what I expected from her, but it's just so good to see her. I can't take offense at her unfriendliness.

"I wanted to come see how you are. I know, I don't deserve to know things about you. Like how you are. Or if you're eating and sleeping well. But I've spent the last three weeks trying to get to a place where I can ask your forgiveness." I shift a little nervously.

She doesn't respond.

"And I was wondering if maybe we could talk. Over tea and cheese buns?" I reveal the container I'm holding filled with a dozen or so I baked this morning. Her favorite of course.

"Oh." Is all she says looking kind of teary eyed.

Did I breakthrough? Dare I let myself hope?

Katniss disappears into the house, leaving the door open for me.

***

After I've started the tea and put the cheese buns on the table, I sit down at her kitchen table. I feel so comfortable here. I guess I should, after spending so much time in this house before the Quell.

There's a long silence while I take deep breaths thinking of what I want to say. She walks over and leans on the chair next to mine, fiddling with the wood.

"I hav-"
"Thank y-"
We both start.

Quickly I say, "You go first."

"No you, I was just going to say thanks for coming to check on me and the cheese buns."

"I haven't spoken to you since you... Coin... since what happened, and I wanted to tell you... I was... AM... proud of you." I stumble to get out.

People say I'm the one with the silver tongue. I can't even get out a simple sentence?

"I didn't know you understood why I did it." I see she is on the verge of tears so I make to stand and she puts one hand up to stop me, "Coin... she... She killed..."

She's wracked with tears now. Her arms across her stomach, body shaking and slightly bent simulating pain, breaking my heart a little with each gasp.

I take one of her hands in mine. It's cold so bring my other hand on top.

"Haymitch told me, what Gale told him about the idea with Beetee for the bombs... that there was no way Snow or his spies could have known about. It didn't take us long to put the pieces together." I explain.

I personally don't blame Gale for Prim's death but I know he felt guilty enough to leave and take a job in District 2 instead of being here for her. Plus, I just heard her mom is in District 4 heading the opening of a new hospital.

"Katniss, I'm so so sorry I wasn't here." She pulls me into a hug.

I wrap my arms around her and rub circles on her back. She cries on my shoulder.

"I will keep saying sorry over and over again until it makes you feel better. Feel better about losing your sister. Feel better about me, being hijacked and not being your Peeta. I'll say sorry until maybe you could consider us going back to being friends- good again."

I amend the end. I don't want to just be friends.

She pulls back looks me in the eyes, "Peeta, I am your friend, but I don't know how good a friend I can be. I'm responsible for so much death. You shouldn't want to be around me."

Her bottom lip is quivering and a single tear drops down her cheek.

"You're not responsible for being born in the awful times that you were. And you're not responsible for horrible people like Snow and Coin doing horrible things to hurt and oppress people." I'm not quite yelling but my voice is raised.

Her eyebrows are almost touching in her confusion but she's listening, so I continue. "You are responsible for trying to save your family and then hundreds of people including me too many times to count. The only thing you're responsible for... is for being remarkable." I say a little to sternly.

Now I'm looking down so she doesn't see the tears about to spill. I feel her face on my neck it's wet but warm. She sighs heavily, but wipes her tears.

"I missed you." She says softly.

I hug her tighter, then let her go and sit back down. She sits next to me but still holds my hand.

"Katniss you never said whether you forgive me."

"For what." She looks genuinely stumped.

"For trying to kill you, on more than one occasion." I know she hasn't forgotten.

"Now it's your turn to hear the hard truth. That wasn't really you Peeta. You were hijacked and the only reason you weren't here for me is so you could get better to be here now. So please don't ask me to forgive you." Her lips pull up on both sides not quite a smile.