Icing on the Cake

Still Here~Jennifer Hudson

Peeta

I wish I could tell her how much I still love her. But, I think she's going through a lot. I'm afraid she won't be open to being more than friends right now. I know she's dealing with the loss of her most important relationship which was with Prim. So when she calls and asks me to go with her somewhere, I'm ecstatic.

"Of course. Whatever you need. Just let me know when." I tell her.

"Okay, when." She says and I realize she means right now, "Only... if that's ok. I mean, I didn't know if you were busy but-"

"Katniss," I cut her off. "It's okay. Now is fine. I wasn't doing anything."

It's kind of true. There's bread in the oven that needs to come out soon and I just set up my paints and put on my coveralls but that is rectifiable quickly. To hang out with Katniss. I have no problem rescheduling me time.

It's been 4 weeks since the day I planted the Primrose bush and I finally got to see her, we've had breakfast and dinner together everyday and she started going hunting again which Haymitch and Greasy Sae, tell me is an improvement. Though I can still hear Katniss at night sometimes when the nightmares are really bad. We've started working on her family herb book but we had a great idea to put our loved ones in there. That takes up some time after dinner so we can stay the bad dreams off a little longer.

My nightmares are usually about her not being safe or just gone. I don't cry out much, as far as I know. Once I join her for breakfast, I immediately have a better rest of the day. I haven't had any episodes where I lose control completely in months. I still have to call Dr. Aurelius. I don't mind because it makes me feel like I'm taking an active role in my mental health to ensure I never hurt Katniss again. I feel like I'm in control of my life instead of letting the past demons rule over me.

I tell her, I'm coming over.

"Okay, and thanks Peeta." She doesn't think she's capable of sweetness but that has got to be the sweetest voice I've ever heard.

***

Katniss

She's gone but I want to hold on to her as if she could come in the door one day and bring joy back into my life. Well, these weeks with Peeta made me realize you can still have happiness after horrible sadness but you have to make your own joy. We can't let the bad things be all we have to think about.

Peeta makes me kind of happy. Not in away that takes all the pain away but, happier than I thought I could be after losing everything. I don't want to leave him to survive the rest of his life alone. If I could give back all of his loved ones, I would. I know he would do the same. That's why I want him with me when I go to my father's lake and finally honor my sister.

I call him, on the phone that I've been trying to get used to, instead of just showing up at his door.

"Hi, It's me." Duh, he knows my voice. I feel so nervous for some reason. "I was hoping you would come somewhere with me. I have something important to do and I kinda need you with me."

I hope I don't sound as desperate as I think.

"Of course. Whatever you need. Just let me know when." He says sweetly and I'm glad he can't see me blush. I get a girly fluttering in my stomach sometimes when he speaks.

"Okay when." It dawns on me, I might be bugging him to hang out too much. "Only if that's okay, I mean I didn't know if you were busy but-"

"Katniss, it's okay, now is fine. I wasn't doing anything." He says quickly. "Just let me change and I'll be right over."