Courts and Constructions

Chapter 27

"Why did you leave?" with sad eyes, Lex asked me.

"Lex..." I called. Was he my driver? I didn't even notice that!

I looked at him and answered, "Well it's mom's death anniversary, I had to." I explained. Of course, I'll leave the country for mom's death anniversary. And why is he asking? Why is he here?

He bit his upper lip before speaking again. "Why did you leave me... before? Without proper goodbye?" It was like a bomb was dropped on me. This feels like I'm in a recitation and I didn't study beforehand. Kaunting napaawang ang aking labi sa gulat. Why ask out of nowhere?

I was speechless for a moment; I don't know how to answer him because he's looking straight to my eyes. "I... I-I'm sorry. I had to." sagot ko at umiwas ng tingin.

"You had to? But why didn't you tell me earlier?" I heard his voice crack. He walked closer to me.

I am starting to tear up and I'm trying to contain it by biting my lip. "You're going through a lot back then." mahina kong sagot.

I heard him sigh, trying to calm himself. He held my hands which made me look at him, "I had a lot back then but then I also had you... I thought I had you... that we have each other, always 'di ba?" I saw tears falling down his eyes so I couldn't help but cry too. What is happening? Why are we on this position all of a sudden?

I sadly smiled and bit my lip while. "Pagod na 'ko." I said, my voice cracked because I was crying. Binawi ko ang mga kamay ko na hawak niya at umiwas ng tingin.

"What?" nanghihina niyang tanong. Maybe he was confused of what I was talking about. Baka nga hindi niya na natatandaan 'yon, ilang taon na rin kasi ang nakakalipas.

"Sabi mo sa'kin dati pagod ka na... tinanong ko kung sa'tin ba... tapos sabi mo sa lahat." pagpapaalala ko. Hindi matigil ang paghikbi ko dahil bumabalik lahat ng alaala noon.

Yumuko si Lex at pinunasan ang mga tumutulong luha gamit ang kamay. "I didn't mean that... I was never tired of us." his voice cracked then he looked at me.

Tumingin naman ako sa baba para umiwas sa tingin niya, "I tried to reach out to you, so many times Lex. But you kept on turning me down." I played with my fingers to ease the nervousness and the heavy feeling. Hindi pa rin ako tumitingin sa kanya at nagpatuloy pa sa pagkukwento.

"When mom died, I... I only had Navi because you weren't there... but I accepted that. Iniisip ko kasi na mas kailangan ka ni tita noon." Malungkot akong ngumiti at tumingin sa kanya. "I can't take you away from her." patuloy pa rin ang pagtulo ng mga luha naming dalawa.

"Such an ass." narinig kong bulong niya sa sarili niya at umiiling-iling.

Bumuntong hininga ako, "I'm sorry." I apologized which made him look at me again. 

"For everything that I've done and... and the pain that I've caused you." I sincerely apologized, I never got to say sorry to him in person. That was an unfair move of me, to end thing through a text message and cut ties from everyone.