Bleeding Love

Chapter 37

Sophia

"I am so sorry Sophie, I shouldn't have left. I shouldn't have left you behind. Why did you go through everything alone? Why Sophie?" Chuck said as he sat down near us at the floor."Oh Chuck, I understand why you did, what you did? It wasn't your fault kiddo, you were too young to understand all this" I tried comforting him as I hugged him to stop him form crying. "Really? Well I don't think two years younger is much younger. How could you not know what was happening with your sister? And you left her behind, didn't you think she would be alone without you?" Ricardo scolded Chuck "You are right, I shouldn't have left." he said and got up. He kicked on the near cabinet in irritation. "Yeah, maybe you shouldn't, not that night, at least" I said and continued the story

"I was happy the next morning as I decided to tell Chuck we could go together. But all my hopes were shattered as I entered his room. He was not there. I called for him , checked in the bathroom too. It was too early for him to go to school I thought, I was just about to leave when I saw a paper stuck at the back of the door. It was a sort of letter it said

"Sorry Sophie, but I had to take this opportunity. I want to go and you are just holding me back. I have a life ahead and want to live it like I want. I cannot leave an opportunity like this. I hope you understand. I am sure I will make you proud when I get into Dartmouth or Brown or Yale. I love you Princess, but I have to go. Take care of yourself. I will miss you.
XOXO
Yours' Kiddo Chuck"

"You still remember the letter" Chuck asked turning towards me. "Yes how can I forget? I read it every day till it got burnt in that house." I said as I got up and moved to him. "You are my baby brother Chuck, you were everything to me. My only family. How could I forget?" I kissed on the forehead as I saw his tears flowing. I do not wanted him to cry in guilt. "Don't cry kiddo, I don't want you to get all guilty and cry over it. That is why I kept you away from my mess". "It should have been our mess Sophie, you are my sister, I love you the most in this world, we would have figured out something" He said pressing the fact that I should have told him. "You don't understand Chuck, how would we have figured out?" I said in frustration as I turned away from him."You tell me where would have we lived, in a friend's house? For how long? Or do you remember any relative  that I don't know?" I asked him. "The social services would have taken you from me, I wouldn't know what foster parents you would have got? Would they have been good for you? Tell me, have you ever even thought that you could have slept without air-conditioning? Have you ever taken a bath with cold water? Have you ever repeated the same t-shirt twice? How could I take the things away from you with which you grew up? I couldn't have given you a worse life. We have lost our parents and I never wanted you to feel that you can not be happy after them" I said to him. "You lost them too Princess, you were a child too, you were just 15 when mom left, you shouldn't have to worry about raising a child, you too have gave up on all these comforts. You never had to lift up a glass of water even, I used to be jealous how dad use to fulfill all your demand no matter how unreasonable they were. Still you gave that up Sophie, you did it, you took it, I would have too." He said holding me.

"Tell me what happened after I left" he asked and I continued 

"After you left I guess I lost all my compassion within me, the only thing I could feel was anger. I was angry at everyone and everything. I was angry at mom, I was angry at you and I was even angry at Dad why he died? Why I was left alone? I was so alone and so angry. I was in kitchen and I thought of killing myself with the knife I was cutting vegetables with for Adrien's dinner. My mind was drifting back again and again to you Chuck. That whether you are fine or not? Have you settled in that high school? Have you eaten dinner yet or not? I was getting angry at myself too because I do not want to care about you then but there was a part of me that was content too that you are away from this hell. You will get the life you deserve, the future you wanted.