She's Changing You | S.M & C.C

Only Two People in the World

December 15th
4:15 AM

"Where are you going?"

"Toronto."

"When will you be back?"

"I don't know... in a few days." He said unsurely.

"Who will you be with?"

Shawn froze. Sheridan would kill him if she found out he was leaving New York to go with Camila. "I'm going alone. It's for work... is that alright?" Shawn asked calmly, hoping to leave without a screaming match arising. Slowly she nodded and as he was about to walk out the door, she stopped him and bid him goodbye with a kiss. It shocked Shawn. He didn't know what that kiss meant or why she felt the need to do so but he always thought that kisses and intimate touches would feel so magical against another's skin. Instead, he felt a rush of cold air course through his veins as she wasn't what he was expecting nor who he was wanting to kiss. He hated admitting that to himself because this was his girlfriend he was thinking about but in the most insincere, negative way.  
However, he was itching to see Camila. They planned everything out through text after she had reluctantly agreed to him being with her during the return with her family. They'd be leaving this morning, catching their flight, and booking a hotel to stay at. Shawn could only hope that things don't go terribly wrong. He hated seeing her upset. The sadness that took over features, the happiness and sparkle vanishing.

6:23 AM

"Does she know?" Camila asked suddenly, turning away from the window on the plane. Shawn turned to her, humming. "She knows."

"Does she know you're going with me?"

Shawn nodded, "yeah, she's actually okay with it." Camila furrowed her eyebrows before breaking out into a smile.

Shawn hated lying to her. He could feel himself already fucking up badly. He was so used to lying—especially to Sheridan. Their entire relationship was based off of broken promises and sickening lies that they forced themselves to believe. He hoped that his lie was enough to pass under the radar and that Camila would never find out. However, he felt the guilt trickling into his blood. It's gotten Shawn thinking. It was clear to him now that he'd never be good enough for her or for anyone for that matter. Why couldn't he just be honest with her?

She had fallen asleep on his shoulder and it made Shawn's heart soar and his brain spiral. Turning to her, he smiled softly at how angelic she looked as she slept. All of her features were softened and so relaxed. It relaxed his heart that she was okay next to him. Shawn would never admit it but he was nervous to meet Camila's family. He felt sorry for her mother and what has happened to their family that was never perfect but at the same time, his mind continued to flash back to when she cried on his shoulder about her mother and the horrible things she made her feel. Shawn knew to push those reining angry thoughts away as for now, he just needed to be there for her. He wasn't sure how he'd do it but he knew that he had to try.

Try.

Something him and Sheridan weren't very good at and maybe this would be the time where he learns but he was beyond terrified to make a mistake and instead of comforting Camila, he'd instead hurt her even more.

Their flight landed. Just in time as Camila woke up with a frown on her face as she realized where they were now. She would have to face her mother tomorrow. She didn't know what state she was in or if she was even welcome but she'd at least be there for her mother. Unlike her. Never once was she there for her. She wasn't there for her first words, her first steps, or her first period. Where she was—was unknown but Camila could only ever assume that she had chosen the cursed nicotine over the daughters she didn't want. As they walked off the plane, she felt a hand clasp with hers and she looked over, meeting the soft eyes of the curly headed man that she was sure she was beginning to grow small feelings for. However, it was nothing she can't handle. "You okay?" He asked, concern written across his beautiful features. She nodded slowly, gripping tighter onto his hand, letting the warmth of it radiate as they stepped out into the cold Toronto air in search of their uber to the hotel.

It was one room with two beds. She made sure that there were two because they've already spent one too many nights together entangled in each other's arms for them to do it again. Shawn felt sadness wash over him when he saw the downer of the two beds in front of him but he shoved it aside, knowing that there were far more important things to worry about. She had excused herself into the bathroom and when she was in there for longer than Shawn thought was normal, he slowly made his way over to the door, resting his ear on the cold wood. All that could be heard in the crisp air of the room was her broken sobs and Shawn could've sworn that he also heard his heart crack. "Mila?" He called for her, his ear still against the door. She stopped crying for a second and no response was to be heard. His worry grew. "Mila, can you please let me in?" He asked softly. He heard the door unlock and his heart officially shattered. She looked so lost in broken with her knees huddled up to her chest as she sat in the bathtub, fully clothed with the water running down on her. "Oh, Mila." He whispered, moving towards her and bending down next to her on the tub, running his hand through her hair as he attempted to silent her cries. He knew that she was overwhelmed and probably scared. After everything she's been through, the anxiety of seeing her mother and especially in such bad shape wasn't ideal to anyone.

The water continued to fall onto her and Shawn moved to stop it. He didn't care that she was soaked and that his clothes would be fully covered in water too, he just cared for her so he took her into his arms out of the tub and resting her on him as he tried warming her and shielding her with his body as he displayed gentle kisses across her face on the bathroom floor. With every sob, another shattered piece of his heart broke a bit more too.

"I'm so scared." She muttered into his chest and he nodded, rubbing her back in slow circles to calm her down. "I know. But I'll be right there with you... always." He meant what he said. He'd always be there for her. No matter what or who tried to stop him, he'd be there. "She hates me." She hiccuped. He shook his head. "She doesn't. No one can hate you. You're amazing and if she doesn't see that then she's crazy."

"Shawn, she tried killing herself." Shawn wiped her falling tears with the pad of his thumb. "W-what if it's my fault?"

"It's not your fault. It's never your fault. She cut you off. Not the other way around. And look at you? You flew out here knowing that there was the possibility that she wouldn't want to see you... but you came anyway because that's the kind of person you are. I wish I was half the good of a person you are." He explained, wholeheartedly, snuggling her closer into his chest. She nodded, not fully convinced but nonetheless feeling more at ease that he could calm her down so easily. Usually, no one was there for her when she had her panic attacks so she'd usually wait until it passed over like another gust of wind until the next one comes. With Shawn, recovery from evil thoughts were so simple and warming.

"Let me run you a warm bath... you get a robe on and when you're ready, you can relax in here." He smiled gently at her, propping them both up off of the floor. She was so amazed by how incredibly sweet he was to her and she cursed her brain for thinking that they could ever be something. She knew that the thought should be out of the picture though. He was taken.

"But what are you going to do?" She asked, not wanting him to be alone in the room doing nothing.

"I have a phone." He laughed, "Plus, I brought cards so afterwards you and I can play a card game if you're up for it. And if not, that's okay too. I'll order room service."

It sounded like the perfect night. And it was. He ran a nice hot bath for her that relaxed all of her muscles and once she was done, they sat on his bed and played card games where some she was actually able to beat him in and she enjoyed the moments where they'd both tease each other about losing and winning. They ordered room service and splurged on fine wine as they knew that tomorrow they'd be faced with some bumps in the road. However, the night ended with the two of them cuddled next to each other (by accident) watching a cheesy hallmark Christmas movie that played all through December. They laughed until they cried and they focused on one another as if they were the only two people in the world because in their defence, that's what it truly felt like. He felt the slight vibrations of soft snores humming across his chest and as he looked down as the credits of another cheesy movie rolled through, the angel that he was blessed with in meeting was fast asleep. He knew that he shouldn't push his luck and keep her on his chest so he instead, as quickly and silently as he could, tucked her into her own bed, kissing her forehead goodnight before falling asleep to the thought of her being his. But he knew that he wasn't thinking realistically. He was far from what she ever deserved.