drawn to you; jaden hossler

20; missed you

3 weeks in Texas can do a lot of healing for a girl.

The first week was terrible because I wanted to cry so bad, but after the first 2 days, I just genuinely physically couldn't cry anymore. That's just how bad it was. But, it was all apart of the healing process.

I have to say that the second week was 1000% the worst because I had no idea what to do. I was in so much pain, but at the same time I just felt so numb. I wanted to say so many hurtful things to Jaden, who I eventually had to block because he didn't stop trying to contact me. But, after I would construct a message, I realized that what I was going to say to him was hurting me as well. I didn't want to make him feel how I do, because it's hell.

I think that the third week, where we are now, was the best out of the month because it was a huge healing period. Instead of my friends having to call me and my family getting me to unlock my door, I was finally reaching out to them. I was calling Blake, Quinton, and the girl's every day, and would find a new activity for my brothers and I everyday.

Speaking of brothers, let's not even start on Jordan. When he first found out what happened, it took all of us in the house to stop him from going to Jaden's and beating the shit out of him. Corbyn was pretty mad, but he just wasn't as physical as Jordan.

I think that the best thing that happened during that week was the songs that I was able to make. Not only was I able to write again, but I could cry again.

I was currently sat at the keyboard bench but with a guitar in my head, a different mindset than the weeks before. I took a deep breath.

This was good for me, I thought.

(Italics = flashbacks)

I strummed the key and instantly let my words fall out, "he said let's get out of this town, drive out of the city, away from the crowds. I thought 'heaven can't help me now', nothing lasts forever, but this was getting good now."

"Of course I want you to go with me," he said, squeezing my hand, "I guess we're going to Texas."

"We can finally get out of this town, this city, and get away from the crowd for a little," Jaden said with a grin, making my smile. There were butterflies swarming in my stomach by now, "I can't wait."

Heaven definitely isn't helping me now, I was in deep for this kid.

"Say you'll remember me, standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset babe. Red lips and rosy cheeks, say you'll see me again even if it's just in your, wildest dreams." I sang, constituting the song. This part was about the date that Jaden took me on when we saw the sunset. I had my red lips done and the dress that Jaden liked, making the night memorable.

I took off my blindfold to see we were at a beautiful over look of Los Angeles, the sunset making everything look gorgeous.

I stood my the edge and admired the beautiful colors blurring into the sky, making me smile with true excitement. I let my hair flow back with the wind, absorbing the sub that was hitting my face as well.

I felt Jaden's stare on me, and as he turned around, he grinned, "You like it?"

He had a little set up of lawn chairs, a table, and a bunch of food and candles waiting, which made me smile, "This is amazing."

He nodded and placed a kiss on my cheek, "I'm glad you like it."

"No one has to know what we do, his hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room. And his voice is a familiar sound, nothing lasts forever. But this is getting good now, he's so tall and handsome as hell, he's so bad and he does it so well. And when we've had our very last kiss, my last request is,"