Secret Love (Secret Circle Fan Fiction)

Chapter 18

My blood was still pulsing, even though it had been ten minutes since my almost explosion. What was happening to me? And why was Jake able to stop it? There was a part of me that was aching, aching to be back in Adam's arms...but then there was this now prominent rather persistent part that was fine just where I was. In my logic mind this situation didn't make sense, I wasn't responding as someone who cheated on her boyfriend should respond. People don't cheat unless they are unhappy, but I was happy. And things between Jake and I just escalated so fast, almost unnaturally. I was holding a hot mug of tea in my hands as I sat on a large fallen branch. Jake was leaning up against a tree, his arms crossed over his chest. And Faye, she was back at the van.

"You didn't do anything Cassie, Faye is fine." Jake said softly, moving his hands to his pockets.

"This time." I managed to say, not looking at him.

"Cas...you wouldn't hurt one of us. Not ever." He moved slowly towards me, sitting down next to me as I took a sip from the mug.

"There is something wrong with me Jake, and its getting worse. Its more than just loosing control."

"You just haven't tapped into that kind of magic before Cassie, and with frequent use it gets easier. But it will consume you, destroy you. You will become addicted to it, and then your body won't realize you are even using it."

"Why are you able to stop me then? Have you done something to me? I'm not sure what I am feeling is real." I turned to look at him, and his eyes were furrowed.

"I'm not sure I understand what you are saying?" He moved his whole body to face me.

"I think you do." I began softly. "I slept with you when I was perfectly happy with Adam."

"You could have stopped at any time Cassie, but I know you wanted it. I felt it."

"How could you have felt it?.. Its like you have invaded my mind, putting this notions into my head that I need you. And then my power becomes more dangerous and with just a touch you stop it. Are we connected or something!?" He didn't say anything, just stared at me thinking. I asked again.

"What do you wan't me to say Cas? That your under some spell? That i'm still working for the witch hunters?" He stood now and began to pace. I placed my cup down and moved towards him.

"Are you?"

"How could you even think that!" He was only inches from me now, shouting.

"What am I supposed to think! Its ridiculous Jake! And don't give me that bullshit about energy, and that I need to release it in order to stay in control. I'm not in control."

"Your in control right now." Although my heart was racing I didn't feel the magic coursing through me.

"Your blocking it somehow you must be. This is all a gigantic trick."

"Do you even hear yourself? Why are you turning against me?" I scowled at him, everything has turned into such a mess since he came into my life.

"Why would I run into your arms after you told Adam? I didn't chase after him, and its like I didn't even feel guilty about what we did. How could I not feel guilty, I was happy!?"

"Were you happy? Because if you were happy then you wouldn't have slept with me! Adam is nice Cassie, he is the boy you'll take home to meet your grandma. But he will always try and protect you, place you on this pedestal that you won't ever be able to live up to. You are not Diana, and you will always compare yourself to her...You might not have realized it on the surface but like i've said before you were chasing a fantasy not what you needed."

"And so I needed you? ...You are so egotistical Jake, and you are playing with me."

"Listen I get that you are upset because you almost blew up Faye, and that Adam has left you and your all girl confused about your feelings, but there are more pressing situations here. We are being hunted by people who want us all dead. Stop being a child, your being selfish! Its like you don't even realize that everyone else is in danger as well and your pining after some boy!" I couldn't believe him, and I couldn't listen to him any longer. Although my magic was calmed, my pulse was still racing. I had to leave before I did something stupid like cry. "You know I'm right."

"Even if you are, you haven't answered my first question." I stood my ground, betting with myself that if he didn't answer I'd walk away. He let out a deep sigh.

"Yes! We're connected."

...

On some level I knew it was true, but hearing it come out of his mouth made reality sink in more heavily.

"So you did put a spell on me?"

"No."

"Then the witch hunters did? That would explain why I feel what I feel, why you can stop me from diving off the cliff." Jake shook his head.

"Have you heard of star charts?"

"Yeah there what psycho's read to see if their partner is their true love..." I stared at him, he was waiting for me to come to some kind of conclusion. "Your saying we're destined? ...What a crack of shit!"

"It explains the things that can't be explained. Why you felt drawn to me, why you didn't feel guilty, why you chose to stay with me then run off, why I can always find you."

"Who told you this?"

"I learnt about it as a child, and I didn't understand what was happening until we slept together. It was like this cord had been wrapped around each of our souls, connecting us after being stretched for so long. I felt different more wild yet grounded. I tried to tell you that night when I asked you to meet me out by the tree, but we were attacked and.."

"I don't believe you." It was plain and simple, Jake was a liar. There was no destiny planned for us, no unyielding connection. "You said my power wasn't connected to love."

"This is bigger than love."

"You said it was passion.." I could feel my temper rising again, as my voice got louder.

"This is passion." Jake moved too quickly, grabbing my head inbetween his hands pushing his lips against mine. He held his lips there for a moment, I could feel the need in his touch. The need for me to understand. And in those brief moments I did. I could feel him, feel his want for me, his need to help me. I saw myself through his eyes. He felt like he wasn't alive before he met me, and the history with the witch hunters was simply that history. He wasn't trying to betray me, he was meant for me. Which was ludicrous, because he is a gigantic ass hat.