How To Save A Life

Chapter 18: anxiety *jazz hands*

Race POV

Waking up extremely early, before the sun isn't even out isn't good.
But waking up to Diem nestling closer to my chest was a good feeling.

Katherine had given me permission to start staying here in the Pulitzer's house with Diem, as long as I stayed out of sight when Pulitzer himself was around.

At first she had been skeptical about letting me but then she'd seen how Diem had reacted just from a few hours in my arms.

As Diem cuddled closer to me, I looked down at her sleeping face.
She looked so calm when she was asleep, almost like none of this was happening. Almost like she wasn't going  to stand up to Samson today.

She's braver than people think.
Way braver.

I reached down and pressed a kiss to the top of her hair. In response her arm tightened around my stomach.
A slight chuckle escaped my lips.

We're gonna win the court thingy today.
We have too.

But what if we don't?
What if they take my Diem away?
So many bad things could happen if they do

My thoughts began to race, making me slowly panic more and more.

If she does get taken will I ever see her again?

What if she did get taken away and something really really bad happens?

To many what ifs.
Way to many what ifs.

"t.......to.....Tonio? Y....ya c.ccrrrryin." Diems quiet, crackly voice broke through my thoughts.

She was managing full words now, only one or two at a time but she was getting there.

I looked back down at her, she was awake now and looking at me with concern.

"T......t...t..tonio?"
She pushed herself up onto her elbow, wiping away tears from my face I didn't realize were there.

"'S nothin Perla."
Her mouth opened, like she was trying to say something but couldn't and instead shifted to sign 'your crying Race'

"'M fine."
'No your not'

I sighed "I'm just worried bout today."

Diem reached up and kissed the tip of my nose ".bb..beee ok..ky."
I couldn't hold back the smile that brought me.
"Thanks Perla."

We shifted so we were laying on our sides facing each other.

'What else happened'
"Just got ta thinkin to much. Bout what would happen to us if he wins."

She frowned 'try not to, I'm not, you shouldn't'
"I know. But If he wins everything is gonna change, an'- an' it means ya gonna get hurt again and I'm supposed to be keepin you from gettin hurt."

She sighed 'it would only  be for two more years, then I would be able to live on my own and I could come back'

"I ain't gonna let ya go through two years of that. An if the judge says ya have to Ise gonna find a way ta make it betta for ya."

A little voice still nagged in the back of my mind but I did my best to ignore it as my girl started to sign again.

'Race no, that would just get you in trouble'
"I don't care bout dat. I wanna keep youse safe, and I know wes gonna win but-"

She reached out and grabbed my shoulder, cutting me off. When I turned to her from my mini rant and saw the tears in her eyes.

'Please stop making me think about what could happen, I really don't want to on the last night I might have with you'

I reached out and pulled her into my arms.
She buried her head in my chest and wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm sorry Perla." I murmured into her hair.
She 'hhmmed' a little in response and managed to snuggle herself even closer to my chest.

Diem POV

I smiled in thanks as Katherine handed me a steaming cup of tea.
She took her seat across from me with her own mug and sighed.

"Are you ready for today?"
I shrugged and sipped at the tea.
Then after a moment's thought I grabbed the pad of paper off the table and wrote 'If I waited till I was ready I'd be waiting the rest of my life.'

She nodded after reading it.
We sat in silence for a while.

I was trying to collect my thoughts, get at least semi ready for what was to come.

"Come on, let's get you ready."

Katherine found another old dress of hers that would fit me without being too big.

It was red, but not a bright red. Like a dark wine red.
Other than that it didn't stand too far out from the other dresses I had borrowed that week, except for the sleeves.

All the others had long sleeves.
This one didn't have long sleeves.
The scars on my arms were now in full view if I didn't try to cover them other ways.

Katherine did this on purpose.
"I know you don't like it, but this way people can see how bad things ended up for you."

I sighed and continued to hold my arms to my chest.
"You'll be okay. Trust me."

The rest of the morning seemed to go in a blurr and before I realized it we were in a carriage with Milo and Bradford heading to the court house.

At this point my hands were shaking a little making it difficult to sign steadily.
I really wanted Race to be here, to be able to hold his hand.

"Trust me kid, I did the math, there's only a 61.4% chance we don't get the jury on our side in the first ten minutes." Milo elbowed bradford.

61.4%
Thats a pretty big chance we don't.

The calm before the storm.
Uhhh yeah Biden won so FUCK YESSSSSSS I STILL GET MY RIGHTS I hope you all have a nice night