Secretly known

02

Elli's POV

As the sunlight slowly starts to light up my room, I'm starting to wake up. To be honest, I hardly slept last night because I was thinking. Not just about a certain leather jacket wearing boy but moving. Moving is one of the last things I wanna do.

Especially because I don't want to have to clean my room. It's nasty. Not nasty nasty but my nasty. Is has to be that way. It's the organization in the chaos. It's kind of like a requirement. Except for under her bed. That place is just wrong.

Another reason why I don't want to move is our house. This place is filled with memories of growing up and just my life in general. Julie. Dad. And Mom. I hope i will never forget the memories i have left of her. Like her big sunshine smile and contagious laugh.

I don't really know how to deal with her death. No one is really worrying about me because Julie had more of a connection with our Mom and therefore is hurting more. At least that's what everyone is saying. Maybe they're right, but personally I don't think you can compare people's emotions and the way they choose to deal with them.

Their thing was writing and singing songs. I can't sing. When I do, it sounds like someone is being choked to death. But there is one thing not a single person but my Mom knows about me. Or knew... I am actually a pretty good songwriter myself. I used to do it with her. She always told me that writing songs can help you connect to your thoughts and emotions even if you don't know what they are. Maybe I should write a song about her.

Getting ready for school, I put on a pretty normal outfit. A baggy pair of jeans, a white shirt, white vans and a light blue backpack for my books. I decide to put my hait into a low ponytail because i don't know how to style hair. Especially mine. It's wild.

My thoughts are being interrupted by someone singing. Wait. That's Julie's voice. It had been almost a year since she last sang. Happiness courses through my entire body. I'm glad she found her way back. I'm so proud of her that I didn't even notice that I was standing on the balcony now.

I wonder what or who got her to play again. My bets are on three certain ghosts.

-

Art class is always my favourite part of the day. It's the most enjoyable one.

"Hello class. Today's assignment is to listen to the music I will be playing and jsut draw, paint or sketch whatever comes to your mind. It's way to let loose", my teacher announces as the lesson begins.

Song: Ghosts by BANNERS

I hear noises

Awoken from my sleep

I'm haunted by the thoughts, I creep

This weirdly reminds me of last night. Well, my thoughts did keep me up almost all night. Haunted. How ironic. Oh wait, I know this song. It's beautiful.

If the earth quakes down, buildings fall

I'm pulling pictures off, from our bones, till you say

Here, here I am

Oh, and here, here I am

Oh, oh

All the ghosts

They float, float around us

They do. They really do.

How they turned all our dreams into dust

We saved your mother

But darling then there was no spark left for us

Ouch.

We won the battle, but lost the heart

And now I know that here, here I am

Oh and here, here I am

Oh, hard to believe

I mean, maybe? But not really. It's actually not that hard to believe if you ask me. They were standing right beside me.

It's said and done, hard to believe

It's not dead and gone

True. Again. Ghosts are dead, but here they are.

I want to believe

I also don't want to seem crazy.

All is well that ends well

But i just can't convince myself

Can't touch the stars, or make them shine

Fight the tide, until the day we die

Can't touch the stars, can't make them shine

But you know I'll try

Can't touch the stars, or make them shine

Fight the tide, until the day we die

Can't touch the stars, can't make them shine

But you know I'll try

For you I'll try

You'll never know what could happen when you don't at least try it.

-

I didn't even realise I was drawing this whole time. It were clothes, but no body. A leather jacket. What did I just do? That's it. They've officially taking over my mind. More like he has...

Hopefully no one understands. Why would they? It's not like any of them have ever or will ever see them. I see my teacher coming my way. Please don't say anything. Please.

"Elli, you did an amazing job. What inspired your work and thought procress?" Shit.

"Uh...Eh...Uhm.." Come on Elli, you can do this, "Well, the song you were playing for us is called Ghosts. It's by BANNERS. Though, I'm sure you already knew that. I don't know. Really. I guess, I've always been drawn to the unknown, so maybe that's what inspired me". That's believable, right? Just nod and go away please. Luckily that's exactly what she does.

I've always been good at talking myself out of things but strangely not at improvising. Anyways, it worked and that's all that matters right now.

What do I do with the drawing though? I can't just throw it away. I don't want to. As much as it pains me to say this but I really REALLY like it.

Hopefully no one will find it...