The Forgotten Night (BxB)-COMPLETED

Ikatatlumpu't Walong Kabanata

Ikatatlumpu't Walong Kabanata

I LEFT HIM.

I left him at the house, crying. And every step of my feet, tear my heart apart. There's no word to describe how the pain inside me, crept all over my body.

I hurt him, and I hope this will be the last for me to hurt him. Even it breaks my heart, I wish that he will find the right person to make him happy more than I can do. I hope he will get over this in no time, kahit 'wag na ako, basta makawala lang siya sa sakit na ito. I will accept to imprison in this pain forever, in return, I'll watch him happily with other person. Yung hindi siya sasaktan gaya ko.

I know, if that time comes, it will not be easy for me to accept, but I will try, for him and for him.

I closed my eyes and a tear escaped in my eyes, before I stepped out of the house, completely.

I bit my lips when they started trembling. "Damn." I gasped some air on the air.

I want you to hold me, but I will just hurt you Sun. Mas mabuting ganito na para isang bagsakan nalang ang sakit.

Sakit na hindi ko alam kung makakayanan ko pa. 

"NICE decision, son." My mom welcomed me with a big smile before hugging me, while Dad on a wheelchair, is smiling at me.

I gave them the coolest stare in my entire life, not because I want too but because I can't feel any. My body is numb.

My mind is clouded about Sun, Sun, Sun and Sun. I was thinking the whole ride about him, like, did he already stand where he was kneeling? Is he feeling ok now? Did his tears stop in falling? Did he wiped them? Can he sleep this night peacefully? Can he smile after this? Can he live his normal life? Can he still laugh? Is he going to stay there alone or go back to his parents' house?

How I wish to see him and check him right now.

I lay my body on the bed. And the tears that I was holding while ago, suddenly burst. They keep in falling down as I stare at the ceiling. Hindi ko maiwasang isipin na paano kaya kung babae ang isa sa amin? Ganito parin ba ang trato nila? Paghihiwalayin parin ba nila kami sa isa't isa at ipagkakasundo sa hindi kilalang tao? Kung hindi, sana nga babae nalang ang isa sa amin. I really wish. But I know it's impossible very impossible.

I didn't bother to wipe the tears that kept on flowing down, while sobbing for how many minutes now.

Every memories when I'm with him, from when we first met, how we argue, and the day I was drunk and we did that thing, when he started approaching me and confessing his feelings, when he started courting me, the day he teases me, the day we became official, our first date and up until now, is kept on replaying on my mind. Mas lalo pang sumakit ang aking dibdib.

Damn. I fell for him too hard. Why did you do this to me Sun? Why did you let me fall for you?

I was 26 and you are 28, and look what you've done to me? You stole my heart. Please give it back, you're holding it too tight, I can't breath.

It never crossed in my mind that I will cry this hard. Baka ito na ang karma ko sa lahat ng mga kagaguhang ginawa ko. But isn't this is too much? Grabe naman maningil ang tadhana. Ang sakit, sobrang sakit.

TATLONG sunod-sunod na katok na galing sa pinto ang siyang nagpabalik sa akin sa katinuan. I wiped my tears while walking towards the door. I opened it. "It's time to eat," Mom said.

"I'm not hungry."

"You didn't eat for two days straight, yet you're not hungry? Don't fool me around, TJ!" she shouted.