Momma's Little Soldier

Chapter 19

The week flew by so fast, I barely had time to sit down. We finished our first stage of training and tomorrow we get to see our ranks, I am really excited to see where everyone is so far and I really hope I still stay in the top spot. We had the rest of the night off after our last session so now we get to just relax. Since Eric cut our training I finally got to just hang out with my friends, plus I also have been getting to sleep a lot more which made me really happy. Speaking of Eric, I haven't spoken to him since that night, I know I should apologize to him, but does he even care at this point? He has been ignoring me, no longer looks anywhere in my general direction, and if I walk near him he just walks away, it's like he is just trying to give me the silent treatment. He told me that he would make me scared of him and want to leave, but he isn't doing such a great job with that. "You okay Ash? You've been staring into space for a bit." Jordan's voice snapped me back to reality as I turned my head to look at him. He was standing beside his bunk while he was looking at me, "Um, yeah. I'm good, just got lost in thought for a minute. When is everyone else coming back?" I asked, wondering where our friends were. "Well I know that Tucker went with Sonja to go get another tattoo and I believe Tom said he was going out with a couple of his Dauntless born friends, but all I know is that lights are out at ten."

I looked towards the clock that read 6:00 pm and started thinking, "I'll be back a little later, okay?" I quickly threw on a jacket and ran out of the dorms, towards the training room. I know I could check his office to see if he was there, but it's too far and I'm lazy, I also know that sometimes he is here to work out himself. Once I got to the training room, my eyes darted to the person I was looking for, who was punching the punching bag. I didn't say anything, but I made my presence known by closing the training room doors. I watched as he turned around confused, "You know your training is done, right? You don't need to be here." Bitterness followed each word as he spoke. I nodded my head, "I know, but I needed to talk to you about something." I sat on top of the mat closest to me and he slowly made his way over. "I wanted to apologize for what happened last week, how I said those things was uncalled for," Eric looked at me shocked before I continued, "but I'm not going to apologize for what I said. I'm serious, if you keep up this bad guy attitude it's either going to get you killed or people will start seeing start through that act."

I was sorry for yelling, but I damn well wasn't sorry for speaking my mind, "Are you done?" He asked, probably wanting for me to finish so he could speak. "No, because you aren't wrong either. I will never know what it's like to actually fight for that top spot because of what my mother made me become. I am her perfect little soldier and because of that, I am here. Trying too damn hard to make her proud and not caring about making myself proud." I can't believe I just opened up to him like that, well no turning back on that one. "Now are you done," I nodded my head and he sat down next to me, "I want to apologize for slamming you against the wall, that was totally uncalled for. Also, I want to apologize for saying that I don't have respect for you. I think out of every person here, you and Max are the only two people I can respect. Max, for obvious reasons and you, because regardless of the fact that you have been training for as long as you have, the fact that you still tried so hard to win every fight, amazes me. You never complained and you are the only one who has the guts to put me in my place. For those reasons I respect you." My heart started beating really fast and I could feel my hands shaking for some reason. Eric just complimented me and I'm not hallucinating it! "By the way, that blow to the head almost gave me a concussion. I had to go to the infirmary so they could check me. Told them I was clumsy and tripped, hit my head on a pipe."

He chuckled for a second and I gasped, "Shut up. You do have teeth! So there is a small sense of humor in you and you have the ability to smile. I was getting worried there for a while." All he did was roll his eyes at me while I continued to laugh for a bit. Once I calmed down I looked at him for a few moments and gave him a slight smile, "Thank you." "For what?" He asked. "For showing me that there is a man behind the stone wall exterior and for putting up with me." We locked eyes for a while. Neither of us moved or made a sound, we just looked at each other and I read the expression in his eyes, admiration. He cleared his throat, "Don't go around telling people this, okay?" There he was, hiding again, but luckily for me I now can see behind that. I got up and nodded my head, "Your secret is safe with me, I promise." With that, I walked out of the training room actually happy and content for the first time since being here.