Falling For Her

Mistake

"Thinking you did the right thing and doing the right thing are totally two different things."

Don't get me wrong. I miss Kenya like crazy. There's not one minute in the day that I don't think about her. Now that I look at it, I made a big ass mistake breaking up with her. And as bad as I want to go running back to her, I'm not going to yet. I'm going to wait it out for a little bit. I know for a fact that we both need space.

I texted her earlier today and asked her if she could pack up the rest of my clothes. She never texted me back, she just read it so I don't know what's she going to do. I know that she hates me. I tried to talk to Monica about what's been up with her but she not telling me nothing about Kenya. I can tell that Monica hasn't really been feeling me lately either. But doesn't understand our situation, nobody does. I don't even think that we understand it.

Derrick was throwing a little get together. I told Monica to invite Kenya, I lowkey wanted to see her. She said that she would try. When she walked into the door, I thought that Kenya would be right behind her. Welp, I thought wrong. The only thing that Monica had with her was my gym bag and my clothes. Maybe Kenya is done with me completely. She just giving up my stuff easily.

Once Monica gave me my clothes I just went to my room. I didn't even feel like partying. Got too much going threw my head at one time. I ended up getting in the shower and getting ready to lay down. But I wanted a glass of water, so I jogged downstairs. The party wasn't that lit. It was more of a get together. I wasn't missing much. I went into the kitchen and got my water as I was walking out, I heard Monica on the phone.

"Because you're used to waking up with the feeling of knowing he's yours and you're used to going to sleep knowing that you're gonna have him to wake up to. It's all about what you're used to. You're used to having him, your mind is used to talking to him everyday. It's just like a bad habit, it's hard to quit. But once you do, you'll realize how bad it was for you and how much better you deserve. It's all in your head baby."

Her saying that pissed me off. I know for a fact that she was talking to Kenya. What the hell did she mean by you deserve better? She act like I treat Kenya bad or something. I was mad asf and went into my room. Ok, you wanna play. We can play. I logged into instagram and took a picture. In the picture I was laid on my bed and I wrote my caption as: Anybody wanna come fill this space?

I know that it was childish, but hey I don't even care at the moment. I took another picture but it was all black and my caption was:

"I want a girlfriend that gets mad when I talk to other girls. Look at other girls. That be like "Look at her again ima fuck both of y'all up." A girlfriend that get mad at you, but 5 minutes later be like "Baby I'm sorry, give me a kiss." A girlfriend that's going to let everybody know y'all together and let these bitches you not going nowhere. A girlfriend that's bipolar, goofy, a crybaby. A girlfriend that's willing to cut everybody off for you."

I put my phone on the charger, locked my door and climbed into my bed. I deleted the picture of inviting these lil thots to my bed, I was only playing. I looked at my other picture getting ready to delete it also when I saw a comment from Kenya.

ItsMedusa_: You had that...

AvianH: Ik I messed up.

I waited a couple of minutes, but she never wrote back. When I checked the comments again, I saw she deleted what she wrote. Damn. I really did. I fucked up. I made a mistake.