The Blue Orchid Years

Chapter 12: A Hurricane of Emotions

Author's remark/content warning: so far this book is written with a consistent pattern of two chapters in the present followed by two chapters in the past, but I have begun to re-consider changing the structure because that set-up may interfere with the flow of the story. Therefore, I will just tone it down to one chapter in the past followed by one chapter in the present (or adjust as needed). This chapter is a direct follow-up from the previous chapter because teenage Nardho's sadness is too vital to his development to be skipped. It is the impetus to his lifelong struggle with mental health issues. If you're in his shoes, please know that hope exists and there are resources to help you.

September 9th 2626

I had no idea how long I had been hiding under my blanket when someone gently lifted a corner of it and sat by the edge of my bed. I looked up to see Rain staring at me worriedly.

"Hi, Rain. It is past midnight now, isn't it? Was I too loud with my crying?"

Nah, you can cry all you want, I found Moira in the hallway looking concerned and she told me you were feeling down, so I know what is up. Do you need anything to drink? I can make green tea, they signed.

Green tea would be nice, I signed back. Rain left to go to the dormitory's shared kitchen and returned with the steaming hot beverage.

I may not be the best person to comfort you, Nardho, because I have no idea what it's like to lose someone who has done so much for me, but if you wanna talk I'm here, they handed me the cup and I sipped slowly.

You being here is enough, I signed with my shaky fingers. Come to think of it, I should probably talk to Kenta about this. He was closer to Lee than I ever was and yet he handled this better than I do.

"You probably should!" A familiar voice chimed in. Goddammit, how long had my older brother been watching without me realizing it?

"Johan! When did you come in?"

"Just now. I have a routine of making sure everyone turns off the light at bed time, remember? I saw your light was still on, so I thought I would check on you."

I usually did not stay up this late so I could understand Johan's concern. Still, I didn't expect to have him pry on what was supposed to be a conversation just between myself and Rain.

"Dho, I think you need this more than I do." My brother took off his rosary beads from his wrist and put it on mine. "I'm not sure how much praying could help, but just try it, okay?" He continued and patted my hand gently. "I'm not good at comforting others, I know that, but I care and I want you to feel safe enough to come to me whenever you want."

I raised my arm slightly to admire the rosary before pocketing it. Johan and I shared the same faith but somehow we differed in how spiritual we had been. Uncertain of what to say, I just nodded and muttered a quick thanks.

"Rain, I appreciate you looking after Nardho. Sometimes I feel that I haven't done much as a resident assistant, so it makes me happy to know that he has someone to rely on."

He would have done the same for me, my friend replied and smiled at both of us. No one should go through grief alone, especially not when that grief is all-consuming. Seeing him sad makes me sad, Rain put their arms around me. I was startled because they weren't usually the hugging type but I hugged them back. 

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Last night was rough but at least now I know for sure Rain and Johan have got my back. Today's class would not start until an hour and half from now, so I decided to check with Izumi if she has made any progress on our group project. I was in charge of researching more about the ways blind children in Black Elm could get better access to Braille books. Meanwhile, she was in charge of researching what it would cost for all elementary schools in Black Elm to make it mandatory for special education teachers to attend weekly trainings on inclusivity and disability awareness.