Labels [lashton/malum]

Chapter 17: confrontation

Edited May 2021

"Can I talk to you?" Michael didn't turn towards the voice. He grabbed his backpack, slammed his locker shut, and walked away.

"Michael!" Calum called his name as he followed after him.

"Stop following me," Michael mumbled, shoving through the main doors and skipping down the staircase.

"I just want to talk to you!" Calum said, walking fast to keep up.

"Well I don't want to talk to you," Michael shrugged, gripping the straps of his backpack.

"Why not? Because of what I said? It was stupid and careless and I shouldn't have said it. Okay? It's bugging me that you're not talking to me."

"I don't care."

"Obviously you do since you're trying to run away from me!"

"Why did you kiss me?" Calum went stumbling back when Michael abruptly stopped and turned around.

"I don't know!"

"Me either! I don't know why the fuck you would kiss me, turn around and fuck someone, then brag about it like it was nothing!" Calum had never heard Michael's voice so loud or so angry.

"It was nothing! It was just a stupid kiss!" Calum looked away, his eyes burning.

"To you maybe!"

"It was just a kiss! Don't be such a virgin about it," Calum said out of frustration. Michael was stunned silent, his face dropping into a disbelieving sarcastic smile.

"Wow. Nice one," his face burned red from the anger and the cold. "I guess Luke was wrong all along, huh? We really are just our labels. I'll never be anything but a pathetic virgin and you'll never be anything but a selfish, heartless fuckboy. Some people have feelings Calum, but I guess that doesn't matter when all you're looking for is a meaningless fuck." A tear dropped from Michael's eye before he turned and walked away. Calum's breath stuttered in his chest as his stomach dropped. His face was too hot and he didn't know why until he realized that he was crying. He angrily wiped at his tears, trying to believe that Michael's words were meaningless, but ultimately knowing better.

He turned around, angry at himself, angry at the world. And fell again into the weakness.

He was at Mia's house in under ten minutes, pressing her up against the door and unbuttoning her pants. She moaned into his mouth and he thought about the way Michael gasped. Her nails bit into his shoulders and he thought about Michael's hands clutching at his shirt.

"How can you not like ice cream?" He stared bewildered as Michael spun in circles in the desk chair at Calum's desk. There was music playing through the Bluetooth speaker on Calum's nightstand, just background noise at this point.

"It's too cold," Michael said with a little giggle.

"That's the price of deliciousness!" Calum laughed.

"I just don't think it's as good as cake."

"What about ice cream cake?" Calum raised his eyebrows. Michael opened his mouth to rely but closed it with pursed lips.

"We should go get ice cream cake," he said with a smile.

"It's 12am," Calum chuckled.

"We should make ice cream cake!" Michael jumped up excitedly. "Get your keys, get your keys, get your keys!" He chanted. Calum laughed, allowing Michael to pull him off of his bed. That's how Calum found himself sitting on his kitchen floor at 3am with Michael Clifford, eating a messily arranged ice cream cake straight from the pan.

"This was my best idea ever," Michael said, tossing his fork into the pan and sighing as he leaned against the cabinets. Calum stared at him for a moment, feeling settled and comfortable.

"Fuck!" Calum pushed off of the girl and wiped angrily at his mouth.

"What's wrong?" She asked innocently.

"Nothing, I just. Fuck, I can't do this," he gently shoved the girl out of the way and walked out of the door. He walked out of her house and got into his car with a slam of both doors. He turned the radio on, blasting the volume to try and drown out his thoughts as he started driving. His tires screeched as he pulled out of Mia's driveway, his hands shaky. He fumbled with the carton of cigarettes in his cup holder, clumsily plucking a cigarette out and placing it between his teeth. His thumb slipped from the lighter a few times before he was able to light his cigarette. It didn't stop the churning and falling of his stomach, but it helped the shaking in his hands.

He didn't know where he was going until he got there. He shut off the engine and got out, shutting the door a bit quieter. He ran up the porch steps and knocked incessantly on the door until it swung open.

Calum was expecting Luke, but Ashton opened the door with a curious look. Her face fell a second later into something angry. Calum desperately held his hands up when she opened her mouth, most likely to yell at him.

"I know I'm a dick, but I fucked up and I don't know what to do or where else to go." There were tears falling from his eyes and his hands were shaking again. Ashton's angry expression softened as she gripped his elbow and pulled him into Luke's cabin.

"Cal?" Luke turned away from the small kitchenette where it smelled like he was cooking burgers.

"I don't know what to do," Calum dropped down onto the couch and put his head in his hands.

"What happened?" Ashton asked softly, rubbing her hand against his back. It took Calum a second to get his bearings back and breathe long enough to speak. He rubbed his palms over his face before dropping his hands.

"Before I kissed Michael, like two or three weeks maybe, we started hanging out. I would bump into him at the library or at the store or something and it was just easy to be around him. I've never felt like that with anyone. It never made me feel good just to be in someone else's presence, but Michael was different," he took a shaky breath as he felt his throat tighten. "The night I kissed him I just... I was reacting to my feelings and I shouldn't have fucking run away. I don't even know why I ran away! It was too much. It was too much to feel so much for someone. Hookups are easy. You fuck, you leave, thats it! Things don't get messy. I don't get attached, no one gets hurt! But I kept getting these stupid feelings when I was around him and I didn't know what to do with them!"

"You know what those feelings are called, Cal?" Ashton said softly, "Love."

"Bullshit," Calum stood up, pulling slightly at his hair, "you can't fall in love in under two months!"

"Why not?" She asked calmly. "I fell in love with Luke in under a minute just because he gave a fuck about my pronouns." She grabbed Calum's hand and gently pulled him to sit back down. "Love doesn't have to mean marriage and kids. Love is so much, there's so much room to fill that one word with meaning. I love Luke, but that doesn't mean I want to marry him tomorrow and that doesn't mean that we're necessarily going to work out. It just means that right now, at this moment, I love him. Love can be as surface level or as deep as you want it to be. It's a different word for everyone." Calum looked over at Ashton, his eyes raw from crying.

"Love?" He whispered unsurely.

"What does it feel like?"

"Love."