eh this might be the longest books out of the testimony series.
lol.
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Jayani looked at Kacey with disgust and she didn't know why. She had been feeling animosity towards him lately. He had been staying out more. And came home drunk or high. Always drinking.
Like he was on a rage and out to get somebody. And she genuinely wanted to help him but she couldn't help somebody that didn't want to be helped regardless if that was she loved him or not.
She couldn't force and bring it upon herself to keep asking him, practically begging him to talk to her. She refused for her words not be heard. When she wanted to talk to him is when he was fully sober.
And she understood why he was acting the way he was. Amari was like a sister to him. He looked after her. But she lost somebody too. Not just him, and she thought it was inconsiderate of her to even forget that her and Mari had been friends since elementary.
She just wanted him to talk to her. She wanted him to be there. So they could be there for each other. It just hurts her feelings because he was distancing himself away from her. And she thought in the beginning it would make them closer but it only made them grow more apart.
She looked up and saw him across from her with a blunt behind his ear. He smelt like alcohol. And the smelled caused her stomach to turn.
"Hey". She made herself known.
"Hey". He mumbled.
"Where've you been". She walked up to him slowly, she was debating if she should go off on him or not. She hadn't seen him in two days.
"With Wooga and nem, and with kassiah".
"You were with Kassiah like that". She asked him, staring him down.
"Like what, ion look any kind of way". He said getting offensive but she didn't care, he was gone heat her mouth.
"Cause you smell like a alcohol. You fucking stink and it's the fact that you don't see that you're very much wrong".
"You've been gone for 2 days, and I've called you multiple times and you have yet to answer your phone. Now do you wanna explain to me why you haven't thought to pick up the phone for me". She asked him calmly.
"Jay, not right now. Ion wanna fight with you". He sighed.
"You're not fighting with me. What you ain't bout to do is flip the fucking script. You want to avoid confrontation with me because you know I'm right. A phone call would've been nice. You know I don't worry about you not coming home because I don't live here. And I don't mind seeing you everyday. But each time I came you weren't here, you know that's very terrifying when you have a boyfriend that's out in the streets and they don't call you, I thought something happened to you". She yelled, as tears fell down her face.
"Jay, I'm good, you good everything is good, just chill".
"Fuck that jay baby chill shit Kacey , fucking fix it, I'm trying to be here for you , I'm trying to hold it down on my end. Usually you wouldn't called if you didn't have time to come check up but when I call you won't answer that shit gets to my fucking head having to think about where the hell you could be , what the hell is wrong with you"She stared at him waiting for him to say something.
"I don't know what to tell you jay ."he sighed sitting on the couch.
"You don't know?"She chuckled bitterly .
"How could you not know what to say to me?When you love someone you talk to them , good or bad situation, you communicate"She told him calmly .
"I put effort into us , into you , and you don't know what to say to me , it's okay to want space to grieve but you gotta tell me some , I won't fight for you if there's not communicating between us in bad times , Kacey I got you "She sighed staring at him .
Thinking about how drunk he was , she decided not to waste her time , she just held unto his hand and helped him up bringing him to the shower .
"Strip, take a shower and Amma get you some food, you need rest Kacey but am not spending the night ."She walked away from him.
"Jay- I'm sorry"He sighed taking his shirt off.
"Mhmmn"She walked out.
Regardless she was still going to be there for him, when he was falling she was going to tilt him back up before he could even touch the ground. She loved him, a lot actually. More then what she realizes.
But one thing she wasn't going to do was let him run over her. She wasn't allowing it going for it. She knew all of the stories about her dad, and grandpa; saint, did Alani and Kahsye. Which she thought they were weak minded. But overtime she realized if you don't put your foot down in the beginning the people you love will consistently run over you.
She wasn't about to let Kacey do her like that.
She decided to cook him some food, she out his clothes in the pamper so she could wash them. She was cooking Cajun pasta since it was something quick and simple.
She heard the shower cut off and she let the chicken boil and she sat down on the couch and waiting til the food got finished cooking.
"Jay". He called her name out.
She looked back at him and saw that he was wearing a black wife heater with with grey sweats, his print was visible but she wasn't that gullible. She knew what he was doing, she wasn't going for it.
"Go put on some actual clothes. You free balling. Don't think you can just come in here and think you bout to have sex with me. Because you aren't. I'm not having sex with you kacey. You're vulnerable. And sex isn't going to help. Put some clothes on". She said sternly.
Though she did want to have sex with him, now wasn't the time, and plus they had just got into a small argument. That would make him think he could do that whenever he wanted, and he couldn't.
She wasn't weak minded, well she wasn't anymore and she wouldn't dare to go back to being that way.
The littlest things can cause something big to happen. She wouldn't even go down that road again, or even think about it.
She felt his arms creep up on her waist and she continued steering the pasta. She turned to face him and she caressed his cheek.
"I love you Kacey and I'm always going to be here for you". She kissed his cheek, while he stared her in her eyes.
