𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫

voices

A/N: Hello everyone, I hope you enjoy this chapter (which isn't proofread but aNYWAYS)! Also, please let me know if you think there should be a trigger warning in this chapter, I wasn't quite sure :/

You were in the practice room going through some choreography that you'd been learning for the upcoming album. Chan was in the studio producing some music, so the boys were fine with you staying at the company after your group practice. Chan told you that he didn't have much to do that day, so he could leave whenever you were finished with your practice and take you home.

You had your earphones in and you hummed to the music, dancing along and trying your best to remember all the steps the dance teachers had taught you so far. Since you had only been learning the choreography for a few days it definitely wasn't perfect yet, bit you had the basics of the dance down and were now just working on trying to make the moves flow a little better.

You stop dancing with a gasp and move to rip the earphones from your ears when you're suddenly hit by a wave of anxiety, a rush of thoughts and voices starting to overtake your mind. You stop for a moment to grab your head, moving to lean against the mirror slightly in panic. You eventually opt to fully sit down with your back to the mirror, hoping the cold sensation would help distract you from your thoughts.

It was making you feel overwhelmed. You felt like your mind was becoming crowded with so many voices and emotions all at once, none of which seemed to make any sense.

You lift your head to face the ceiling and close your eyes slowly. You take a deep breath and count to ten in your head, in an attempt to calm both your mind and racing heart.

When you finally feel the voices begin to subside you let out a sigh of relief, tiredly dropping your head back to let it rest against the mirror completely as you try to catch your breath.

This wasn't actually the first time this had happened to you. It mainly only happens when you're alone; you suddenly just become crowded by your own thoughts and you hear multiple voices shouting at you. Each time it fills your whole body with panic, and once it's over you always feel like all of your energy is depleted.

The voices never seem to be logical, and you're unable to make out the words since there are so many at once, yet it always manages to make you feel uneasy and panicked. They don't particularly seem to be saying anything, yet they're saying everything all at once. It's difficult to explain.

All you know is that whenever this happens you just have to stop whatever you're doing and take deep breaths. It usually works, and you assumed it was because of stress (due to the fact that you were preparing for the next album) so you didn't think it was bad enough to mention to the boys. It doesn't happen very often, and usually doesn't last too long either. You just didn't really want to worry them, especially since the album release was fast approaching.

Feeling worn out after having finally calmed down from your little breakdown, you decide to just stop your practice there and go home. You head to the studio that Chan was in, and when he notices you walking in his expression switches from one of concentration to happiness.

"Hey sweetheart", he says as he opens his arms for a hug, pulling you to sit on his lap with your arms around his neck so you can rest while he finishes the last few bits of the beat for the song he's working on. He notices that your eyes seem a little dull as you walk over to him, but he decides against asking you about it. He assumes it must be because you're tired.
"You finished earlier than I thought," he mentions, to which you hum in response.
"Yeah, I got a bit tired so I didn't really feel like practicing anymore," you mumble quietly, burying your head in the crook of his neck in an attempt to gain more comfort. He smiles and lifts his left hand to run it through your hair soothingly to help you feel more relaxed.