YOURS TRULY, theodore nott (on hold)

vi.

drowning;

It's been a month since the argument.

We still haven't talked about it.

I haven't talked to either of them, besides Justin's failed attempts to explain anything. I spend all my time with Ernie or Hannah. And she spends all her time with Justin and Leanne. I never spend more than a minute in the common room and I only go in the dorms when it's absolutely necessary. All my time goes to the library. It feels like all I do now is read and write.

And yet I still have loads of homework to do. And I'm in the library. As always.

I would be lying if I said I didn't miss her. I do. But I'm not going to apologize for my feelings. I felt like drowning.

"Is she still mad at you?"

I looked up to see Theodore looming over me. 

He had gotten taller over then summer, and lost most of the baby fat from his cheeks. His hair had grown longer making his curls fall perfectly over his forehead.

I hated him for how attractive he was.

"Well if she wasn't, she'd be sitting next to me." I said.

He nodded, agreeing with me, and thankfully not pressing further. He gestured towards the seat next to me as if he was asking to sit next to me.

"It's not like I can stop you. Go ahead." I stated, confused.

He sat down and pulled out his Potions book and started working on the essay that was due in tomorrow (which I had already finished).

"Sorry, but tell me why you're sitting next to me again?" It came off as rude, and I cursed myself mentally.

He raised an eyebrow. "I can leave if you'd like-"

"No!" 

Madame Pince shushed me and I rolled my eyes.

Why can't I talk like a normal human being?

"I just meant that, you know, we don't normally talk, a- and we're not particularly- friends." I added quickly.

He shrugged and went back to work. I could've sworn I saw the slightest smile on his face.

I sighed and went back to my Dream Chart for Divination. We worked silently for a good hour, until he spoke up.

"You're drowning twice."

Huh?

I looked at him, confused.

He nodded towards my Dream Chart and I was, in fact, drowning twice.

"Oh. Right." I quickly changed it.

"You're also having near death experiences four days in a row, which is, logically, impossible."

"Where?!" I whisper-yelled.

He pointed towards October 18th and dragged his finger to the 21st.

"Great." I scribbled it out. "Divination," I scoffed. "what a load of rubbish."

"Really? I think imagining figures in tea leaves determines your future." He smirked.

I giggled. "Oh yeah, and my hands definitely will tell me how many kids I'll have."

We both broke out in a silent laughter, hoping not to get kicked out. 

I realized it was dinner time and I'd promised Hannah I'd show up.

"Thanks." I said, and he gave me a tight-lipped smile.

I got up and that smile dropped from his face.

"I have to go to dinner, Hannah will murder me if I don't. But hey, now you know where to find me." I said while packing up. 

"Yeah, see you"

"Are you coming to dinner or not?"

"Not my forte."

I nodded. "See you tomorrow." He gave me a confused look and I walked away before I could embarrass myself further.

Tomorrow?

Why did I say tomorrow?

Dinner was almost over so I started running to at least show my face. I walked into the Great Hall and immediately spotted Hannah. I sat down next to her and started piling things on my plate, eating anything in sight, with the sudden urge of hunger.

"And where have you been?"

"Library," I said stuffing my mouth as she gave a glare while Ernie gave me a disgusted look. "I got frustrated with Divination and forced myself to finish it." I said with my mouth full.

It wasn't a lie, it just wasn't the full truth. Hannah nodded approvingly while Ernie didn't seem completely convinced, but shrugged it off.

"You know, the Hogsmeade trip is tomorrow." She started and I didn't like where she was headed.

Ever since first year Susan and I talked about our first Hogsmeade trip and what we would do there, but seeing as we weren't on speaking terms, our plans have gone down the drain.

"Susan wants to talk to you." Ernie blurted and I almost spit out my food.

"I- I beg your pardon?" I swallowed.

"Tomorrow morning. Before the trip. By the carriages. She told us not to tell you though." He trailed off.

I looked at Hannah and she face palmed.

"Great. I'll be there." I got up. 

"Riley wait-"

"No, no, it's fine. I need to be alone right now."

I walked out of the Great Hall with everyone staring at me. I let my feet take me around the castle, wandering to no where in particular. It hurt, knowing that she still talked to everyone but me. I wanted to talk to her about my problems. But I couldn't. I was glad she wanted to talk to me, but I didn't know what it was for. I didn't know if she wanted to apologize, or tell me that I'm being irrational.

I slowly walked back to my dorm, ignoring the stares from my housemates. I went to my dorm and fell back on to my bed hoping that tomorrow, things would be different between Susan and I.