His Happiness For Mine

Drink After Drink

LOUIS POV 

*one month later*

I never really felt so numb before. Without harry it just seems like my happiness and drive to be a better person went out the door. Of course I still go through the motions of doing what I need to do for the band, but being around Harry and not being able to hug him or whisper sweet nothings in his ear takes away a piece of me. 

Simon texted me something about having to go do a stunt with Eleanor later tomorrow, and my brain just shut down. I just became over run with anger and I punched the Wall my hand going right through the thin plaster. She is the only reason that Harry isn't mine anymore. I actually found out what she did a couple days ago... 

She got me drunker than I already was and led me up to my room. She slept in her own room because thankfully we didn't actually sleep together, but she left the next morning looking like we had been going hot and heavy all night. Fuck her. 

I mean shit I wasn't even supposed to go to a hotel I was supposed to go home to my- or well to Harry. I tried to talk to him multiple times and he just wouldn't listen to me. He obviously doesn't need me anymore. 

Niall has been great at trying to help me, but he just isn't Harry. 

I decide to just go to a bar and drink my sorrows away cause that seems to be the only thing I'm good at nowadays. I grab a baseball cap and some sunglasses cause I don't feel like being spotted right now and head out. I drove to the nearest bar and found a seat at the counter. 

"Just give me something strong." I told the bar tender who just nodded and served me something. At this point when gives a fuck what it is. I'm a few drinks in, and really feeling the buzz when a brunette girl came up to me. Her hair reminded me of Harry... I sigh and take another gulp of my drink. 

"Hi there handsome" she said whispering in my ear. 

"Hi" I said shortly. 

She started to nibble on my ear lobe and my body is very much touch starved. I felt a shiver run through my body. Harry used to do this too. God damn this boy has really just taken over my brain. 

"Wanna join me in the bathroom? I kinda need help with my dress." she says innocently. My brain was honestly so fuzzy, but the next thing I know we are in the bathroom doing the nasty. Lord have mercy on my soul.

 I thought maybe it would make me feel better, but it genuinely made me feel like shit. I tried to pretend that she was Harry but ya know kinda hard to do that when she has boobs and not a dick. 

I walked out of the bathroom and got into my car. I really shouldn't be driving either, but I need to get the fuck out of here. (A/U: please don't ever drink and drive!) 

I drove really slow all the way home i'm surprised I didn't get a ticket. Once I safely got home I took a hot shower trying to just rub everything that happened tonight off my body. I literally fucking hate myself. "FUCKK" I screamed and slammed my hand on the tiles of the shower wall.

I looked in the mirror when I got out and just felt so disgusted with myself. I got really nauseous, and was immediately hovering over the toilet throwing up everything in my stomach. I got really dizzy and just passed out on the bathroom floor. 

*three weeks later*

I rolled around in my bed not wanting to get up. I felt like such a waste of space. Harry still hasn't talked to me, but hey at least the band is doing well. We go on tour soon which will be interesting. I finally check my phone and my heart stops when I see the screen. I am being tagged in articles all through twitter about me being a dad to be? 

What. The. Actual. Fuck. I click on one of the articles and sure enough it looks like the girl I hooked up with at the bar a few weeks ago. Oh my fucking god. Oh my god. No way can I be a dad. No fucking way. What do I tell Harry. He is going to be livid; yes we are broken up, but he is still the love of my life and I'm sure he hasn't moved on yet. 

Sure enough I have texts from the boys from Simon saying congratulations with a smiley face. He also added a thanks for making my job easier fans won't think your gay now. I threw my phone down on my bed and started pacing back and forth. There is no way that I am going to be a dad. I hear my phone buzz again, and I went to go see who it was. Harry... he wants to talk. 

Well fuck me man. I told him to just come over, and I lay down on my bed again. Really fucking hating everything right now. Especially myself. I heard a knock at my door and forced myself to go get it.  When I opened the door a literal angel named Harry Styles stood in front of me. How can I be so stupid. "Hi" I said breathlessly. He genuinely takes my breath away. 

"Hi." He said shortly. Fuck I'm done for.

"Louis again what the fuck. I thought what we had meant something to you, but here you are screwing someone you just met in a bar, and now SHE'S PREGNANT" he yells tears slowly running down his cheeks. 

"Harry I- I wasn't in the right mind when she approached me. I love you so much haz. I never fucking did. I know I fucked up but I don't know if this child is for real mine. She hasn't even come to me to say it was mine. She went straight to the news" I said quite pissed off at that fact. "Also Harry you were the one that broke up with me and I was drinking to ease the pain of you leaving me" I cried. I know that my words are probably rubbish to him, but it is very much true. Hell he won't even let me talk to him about the whole Eleanor situation. 

"What the hell ever Louis. I just can't believe you first Eleanor now this... I just I can't right now... I need to think." Harry said tears now running down both of our faces. "Harry I still fucking love you so much it's hurting." I said wiping my tear soaked face. He didn't say anything... he looked at me with no emotion and left the flat... our flat. I just ran up to my room, and I heard the door open again. 

Niall appeared around the corner and looked at me with sad eyes. I broke down again and he just took me in his arms and let me cry. "Niall why am I such a fuck up." the world would be much better without me in it. I thought but wouldn't say out loud... not to him at least. 

"Your not a fuck up Louis I promise. Please don't think that about yourself. Hary still loves you he just needs time... I promise everything will be okay." He said rubbing a circle in my back. I honestly doubt that I thought and let myself cry in his arms. Maybe ending it all won't be such a bad thing.