now or never - charlie gillespie

chapter thirty seven

A couple hours earlier

After waking up at Sawyers with no sign of Charlie or Owen, I texted them both to tell them I'd meet them at the hotel. I wanted to at least say goodbye before they left.

I couldn't allow myself to imagine what the next 6 months would look like without them.

I shook the thought from my head and began to get ready.

I was meeting with Mrs. Roberts about the promotion. I was going to take it. My mind was already made up.

Ava and I rode together to the hotel. I sat with her while she changed, waiting for Mrs. Roberts to call me in.

My phone vibrated. I looked down and saw a notification from instagram. It was the boys. They were doing a live. I decided I'd watch it until it was time for the meeting.

"What are you watching?" Ava asked over my shoulder as she buttoned her uniform.

"It's the band's live," I said, showing her my phone.

"Yeah, we are super excited to see you guys on tour so don't forget to grab your tickets. The link is in our bio!" Owen said.

"And who knows maybe we'll have a special guest come along?" Charlie said, looking at the other boys. They all had hopeful smiles on their faces.

I really hoped they weren't talking about me.

If they were, that meant they were still hoping I'd change my mind. They would probably try to change it for me.

"Lake, are you ready?" I heard Mrs. Roberts call from her office. I nodded my head and turned off my phone.

The meeting was boring and uneventful. She just told me everything I already knew. I was informed i'd be wearing a new uniform from now on. I was also given a new schedule and the keys to my new office. She handed me the keys.

As I held them I couldn't help but feel accomplished. Like all my time spent here wasn't just for nothing, like my dad would say.

"Thank you, Mrs. Roberts. You won't be disappointed." I said getting up from my seat.

"I sure hope not, Lake."

I was supposed to meet the boys in the Lobby. I took short, slow steps, doubting if I should even stay.

I decided to go with my gut.

I ran over to Nathaniel at the front desk. "Could I borrow a piece of paper and a pen?" I asked him.

"What's in it for me, boss?" he teased, dangling the pen in my face.

I grabbed it from him and reached over the desk, snatching a piece of paper for myself. I didn't have time for him.

I started writing them a letter. If I wasn't going to say goodbye in person, I had to at least do something.

Dear boys, I want you to know that you mean so much to me. I literally have no words to describe how lucky I am to have you in my life. I'm so grateful for everything you've done for me. From the risks to the opportunities you've given me. I know you don't understand my decision and I get it. But I just need you to trust that I've made the right one. I know I promised to say goodbye before you left but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It would have hurt too much. Please don't come looking for me. Please, for me, just accept my choice. I hope you guys have a great time on tour. See you in six months.

Yours always, Lake.

As I wrote the last couple of words, the tears came pouring down.

"Woah, Lake, don't cry. I was only joking with you," Nathaniel said and I just waved my hand at him.