now or never - charlie gillespie

chapter fifty

Reluctantly, I did as Charlie wanted.

I checked into a hotel that night with Owens' help.

The next day, Charlie tried to avoid Owen and I as much as he could. If we had to be in the same place he would just put his earphones in and look straight ahead.

It killed me to see him do this.

Ugh how could I have been so stupid? Why didn't I just stop him? We could've talked things out. I'm sure space wasn't our only option.

But if space is what he wanted then I just had to respect that, right?

I tried to convince myself that this was the best thing for us right now.

With each second he pushed me out, my heart ached.

I had never realized how much this would affect me. Having him right in front of me and not being able to go up and talk to him. I guess I see where Charlie was coming from...

Throughout the day I caught him looking over a couple of times whenever Owen and I would speak. I couldn't help but feel guilty.

I didn't know what to do. Was I supposed to shut them both out?

I didn't want to lose the two best guys in my life at once...

I tried to make myself feel better by reminding myself of what Owen had said yesterday.

"Lake, you're never getting rid of us. No matter what.."

I took a deep breath and tried to distract myself by focusing on what was happening around me.

Charlie, Owen, Jeremy and Madison were currently doing a quick run through of the show before we had to leave to go on tour tomorrow. They were kickstarting the tour with a concert right here.

Technically I didn't really have to be there, but Owen practically forced me out of bed this morning.

I wasn't complaining though. This was much better than what I would have been doing. I really did not want to be left alone with my thoughts. They would drive me crazy.

Currently, Charlie was on the imaginary stage, sitting on a chair with his guitar practicing Unsaid Emily. I watched as Kenny directed him.

"I want it to be completely intimate, just you and the crowd," he said to Charlie. Charlie just nodded his head and kept singing. His eyes glanced in my direction and for a split second he stared into my eyes. He reluctantly looked away, with a pained expression on his face.

This was breaking my heart. I didn't know how much longer I could take of this. It felt like space was only making things worse.

It's what he wants, I tried to remind myself.

"Why don't you just come stay with us tonight?" Owen whispered to me, snapping me out of my thoughts. I turned around and looked at him.

"Uh, I don't think that would be wise," I said, looking at the ground. "Have you talked to him yet?"

"Not yet, but I'm planning on ambushing him today while he's making his food," Owen said, causing me to laugh. "I just have to get it over with. The silent treatment... It's killing me," he whispered.

"Tell me about it," I murmured.

I turned my attention back to Charlie as he carelessly strummed his guitar, lost in his thoughts.

If I had to give him space, at least I could watch him from a distance.

"Perfect, Charlie!" Kenny exclaimed. I couldn't help but smile, feeling proud.