Desolate Recollections

Chapter 3.

Two weeks into the tour, we've been to 6 countries. I love travelling and seeing the world. That's something that I learned fairly quickly Harry and I have in common. Apparently, before the accident, I would travel a lot for work. I was an audio engineer. I worked for an up-and-coming company, Treble Records. The company is now among one of the largest engineering companies in the world, with quarters in LA, New York, London, and Tokyo. 

At the time, I was working with new artists. I have pictures hanging in Harry's and my office at home of me with Ariana Grande, Adele, Carrie Underwood, and Bruno Mars. Then there's one picture that's bigger than any of the other pictures. I think of it and smile. 

"Hey, are you okay?" Harry walks into the hotel room and notices the tears running down my face. 

"Yeah, I was just reading." I wipe my face and close my book. I'm not for certain that my tears were due to the book or the memories my mind doesn't seem to hold anymore. Harry kicks off his boots and jumps on the bed next to me. 

"Ah, what are you reading?" He glances down at his phone before tossing it on the bed and puttnig his hands underneath his chin to hold his head up. 

"I am reading 'The Fault in Our Stars'." I smile at him. I haven't gotten out of bed yet. The alarm clock reads 10:53 in the morning. "I need to go take a shower."

"Well, hurry up and get ready! Niall wants to go to lunch today. He's picking up Ella from the airport right now." I forgot Ella was coming for a couple of weeks! That's so exciting! I absolutely love her! 

"Yay! I haven't seen Ella in like four months!" I jump up and down while heading towards the bathroom. 

Once my hair is curled just the way I want it and my makeup looks good, I grab my new Sperry's. Harry fell asleep on the bed while I was getting ready. I walk over to him and start running my fingers through his hair. He moans quietly and rolls over.

"Harry, baby, we need to go. It's noon." I pat his chest. He's wearing his sheer black shirt, and his tattoos show through.

"Fuck, I didn't realize so much time had passed." He rubs his eyes once registering what time I mentioned it was. He stretches and throws his boots on before grabbing his phone off the charger. I grab my purse and Harry calls Niall as we leave the hotel room. 

We pass Zayn, Caroline - the boys' stylist - and Sam, Zayn's daughter, as we head towards the elevators. 

"Hi Sam!!" I say, over-enthusiastically. She moves to hide behind Zayn's leg, and immediately peeks her head around to look at me again, giggling. Harry seems to be too distracted with his conversation with Niall to really say anything, but I catch him give Zayn a small smile and look with an emotion I haven't been able to pinpoint. I'm sure it wasn't for me to see, so I let it go. Harry seems almost uncomfortable around Sam. He's fantastic with kids in general, but when he gets around Sam, it's almost as if he doesn't know if what he's saying or doing is okay. I'm not sure why, but that's how it's been since I can remember. 

The three year old walks over to me and gives me a hug once I crouch down. I say goodbye to all three of them. I want a baby. I can't have one, but I want one so badly. Apparently my uterus was too damaged from injuries I sustained in the accident, and I had to have it removed. I have come to terms with it, but I guess it's in human nature to long for something you know you can't have. 

I grab Harry's hand as I feel the sadness fall over my face. I hear him end the call with Niall. 

"So he's still waiting to pick Ella up. We're going to meet them at Jamie's Italian. Niall's been obsessed with Jamie Oliver lately, so I guess it's only appropriate." Harry explains. Italian is my favorite kind of food, so I'm a little excited.