"You really should come," I informed Chloe, mentioning how Adrienne had invited me out, "It's just going to be me and a few of the girls from work. You'd totally fit in!"
Chloe came in with her phone in hand, "So...uh, this is kind of awkward, but I don't want to lie to you."
I laid down the brush I was using to fix my hair, observing her pursed lips and scrunched up nose. What was this even about?
"Tell me," I asked, walking up to her. She eyed me nervously, making sure to read my body language for any sign of frustration.
"Ok," She breathed, looking back down at her phone, "Steven texted me."
My heart dropped and for once, I was actually pissed that he was still trying to contact me.
"Why?" I snapped, yanking her phone from her. I let my eyes settle on his ridiculous number pasted at the top of an even more ridiculous text, "Who does he think he is?"
She shrugged, her face solemn as she gave me a moment to read.
Chloe, I know you don't like me and I know right now that Kensie hates me even more...but I have to see her. With my mom gone, it's hitting me even harder than I ever thought it would and Kensie is the only one who'd understand. I can't even sleep at night knowing what I did to her and I think my mother dying was my wake up call. Kensie won't answer my texts or my phone calls and I don't know where she lives anymore, can you please help me out? It would mean the world to me and I know it would mean the world to my mom. Just have her call me?
I threw her phone onto my bed, stunned that those words were even coming out of his mouth. They were literally unbelievable, was that really even him?
"Why in the world...," I stopped, trying to formulate my words, "Why is he trying to guilt trip me? Does he even know the pain he put me through?"
My voice was growing heavier and heavier with the realization that he was finally taking responsibility for the fuck up he created, but it was just far too late. If he'd have asked me three months ago, I would have ran crying into his arms. I was devastated then, I quit my job as an assistant, I barely ate, I wouldn't go out or do anything remotely fun all so I could sulk in my bedroom.
"Kens, you don't have to respond," Chloe sided with me, laying a hand on my shoulder, "He's just trying to reel you back in, whether it's for a good reason or not, is another story."
She was right, he did have a good reason for contacting me, but it was far too late. There was nothing that could ever happen between us again, the love I had for him had finally drifted away forever.
"His mom died, Chlo. She was so amazing and caring, she was literally like a second mom to me when my parents weren't there. How am I supposed to chose?"
Chloe dropped her hand, feeling my pain, "I say go to her funeral and I'll go with you, but as far as Steven goes, I'd let him be. He has other people to console him, you were not the only one who knew his mom."
I punched the pillow that was laying on my bed, pretending it was Steven's face as I practiced the '7 things I hate about you' breakup method. I couldn't go back into the feelings I used to have for Steven. I knew if I did, I'd fall back in love with him, but the horrible memory would always stick.
"I just don't want to talk about it anymore," I finally decided forgetting about it would be for the best right now, "I've got to leave in thirty minutes and I haven't even decided on an outfit yet."
So my outfit probably wasn't as important as dealing with Steven's moms' death, but I didn't have another choice. The pain of dealing with it seemed too monstrous for me right now and I didn't want to even speak his name anymore than I had to.
