upset | edward cullen

eighteen

being human is a guest house
Every morning a new visitor

RUMI

Going to school today was not as intimidating as before, today I just wanted to see Edward and that was motivation enough. Edward had told me he'd decided to be the one to try my blood. So far he felt the same, nothing out of the ordinary which was good news.

I could be brave, remembering what Alice told me, I had survived, the horror was over. I was safe my mother was protecting me like I was a newborn and Edward was no better, I had to put my faith in them at least if I didn't trust myself. I still had bruises on my skin, a sore and discolored reminder of the events. Covering myself up, especially my neck that still had two bite marks, I got into my mother's car and counted the minutes it took to get to school. I was distracting myself.

Maybe if the world was as bleak and cold as I thought it was months before I might have turned right back to my mother's car after getting out. But instead I was greeted by my new friends and Edward stood behind them smiling at me with enough warmth to melt the ice caps. I waved my mother goodbye before letting them lead me into the school, even Emmett was unrelenting in cheering me up. Finally when we were inside Tori noticed the stolen glances between Edward and me, "alright let's give the lovebirds a chance." Emmett hooted and Anthony smirked as I pushed him away when he poked my cheek. Despite their teasing they did make themselves scarce as Edward stepped towards me. I was studying his face, seeing just how difficult it was for him to be close to me but he knew I was doing so.

"I'm alright, but I can't help but notice how beautiful you look today," A smirk and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. He put his arm around my shoulders as he walked me to class.

"Everyone thinks I look unstable," I could tell by the way they stared in curiosity, the way their eyes always landed on the scarf I'd been wearing since the accident.

"As someone who can read minds I'd have to disagree," he whispered into my ear and a chill ran down my spine, his voice tantalizing. If he noticed the shiver he didn't say anything but I the smirk on his face seemed to only grow. "Right now most people think you're brave for coming back so quickly and that you're a bad ass." He said this a little louder, opting for not whispering, a shame. I didn't know if he was lying but I wanted to believe it, so I did. I was brave not weak, a bad ass not a damsel in distress. And then we were at my classroom and he hugged me tight before letting me go, was it always hard for him to leave me, even when a few walls separated us?

EDWARD'S POV
I hadn't told her. The voices in my head, that rang loud and clear usually, were quieter today, and there were less of them, my ability was weaker. Emmett would be across the school right now and his thoughts were quieter than usual. Had that small drop of her blood done this? It seemed impossible, unthinkable. I texted Carlisle during class about the development and he told me to keep testing it. My hearing was perfectly fine though, I could hear a branch snap outside under the weight of a deer in the nearby woods but not my brother's thoughts.

Despite all this, seeing her again was difficult but not as difficult as it was that first day I saw her, my control had come a long way. Perhaps her exposure therapy was working.

AMELIA'S POV
I had spoken to my mother about sleeping over at the Cullens. She had said she would need to talk to Esme and Carlisle about sleeping arrangements, without saying it I knew she meant keeping me and Edward far far away from each other. We could do that much, it wasn't like we had privacy at the Cullens' place anyways. The whole point was just to make sure Edward was as exposed to my scent as possible, desensitizing him while he tried my blood.

English lit with Edward was as normal as expected. In the back of my mind I couldn't get over the overwhelming sense that things had been going better than usual. I was so used to losing. As if sensing my cynicism, Edward's hand found mine. He was leaning over when the teacher faced the whiteboard and whispered into my hair, sending a chill down my spine, "Sit with me at lunch, I want to tell you something?" I nodded slowly, and there it was affirmation of the doubts he had dimmed.