upset | edward cullen

nineteen

I shatter in all my dimensions
I multiply
I take on shapes like water.

MONA SA'UDI

I was practically buzzing with excitement. The weekend of the sleepover had finally come after much deliberation from my mother. She had called Esme almost daily with questions and concerns and I was sure that frequency would only increase when I actually left. I almost wanted Esme to dazzle her but I knew it wouldn't be fair. I couldn't force my mother to make a decision.

Alice would pick me up to keep up the illusion and Edward would be patient at home. I brought my best pajamas as if Edward hadn't seen me in ratty oversized t-shirts and baggy pajama pants. My mother gave me a strong hug and a pointed look one that read, remember what I told you earlier, no funny business and stay away from Edward after dark. My parents both believed evil came out at night but little did they know I was going right into the arms of their worst nightmare.

Edward was unsurprisingly waiting for me, texting me even asking how far I was. He was adorable like this, a normal teenage boy. Alice saw the smile on my face as I looked at his texts.

"What's he saying?" She didn't even have to ask .

"Just usual Edward stuff." We both laughed, Edward was all too predictable. "I was wondering...who was the first vampire is there like an origin story?"

"Hmm not really we've always just been there or so it goes, we supposedly cohabited the earth with humans going mostly unnoticed." The more I thought about their history the less it made sense, but I guess I threw out common sense when I found out vampires existed. The same rules of life and death didn't apply as before.

"Are you or were you religious Alice?"

"You don't make small talk do you? I like that though! I don't really remember much from my human life but I'm not now. When all the major religions tell you there's no such thing as immortality and Jesus was the exception it makes you think how come we're here? Are vampires being punished for their human lives? It's not always the case though like for Carlisle he lived a good life so did Edward. Why are we immortal and why believe in a higher power if there's no afterlife for us?" Alice gave me a lot to think about. I disagreed with her, in fact it only made clear to me that I shouldn't be finding all the answers because somethings were just unexplainable. The vampires, the apex predators, didn't even know their origin story or reason for existence and that's just fine.

Returning to the moment I realized we were almost to their house, Alice had been driving at a reasonable speed, albeit still over the speed limit.

When we arrived Edward bounded out of the the door to greet me at Alice's car, really he was one blur of motion but I was used to it by now. Edward, always cautious at first, took one step towards me as he regained control. This weekend would be good for us.

He took my hand in his and leaned down to kiss my forehead, "I have something to tell you, to tell everyone." No doubt it would be about the effects the higher dosage was having since it was day two of our little experiment.

Edward led me to the living room, his hand never leaving mine, and it was like an anchor keeping me steady as I braced myself for the news.

Having heard the commotion, everyone gathered in the living room. Esme greeted me warmly as always, Emmett the usual big brother high fives and teasing, Jasper's tightlipped but well-meaning smile, and Rosalie's nod of acknowledgment. All that was missing was Carlisle's warm smile. Esme, seeing my confusion, commented on his absence, "he's been researching for the past couple of days he's in Norway right now." I just nodded as if that was normal.