UltraViolet

Part 21

Cold air slapped my flushed skin as I threw the back door wide open and rushed out into the cold. Even on a fresh October evening a few partygoers were stood outside joking and laughing, mainly smokers blowing clouds into the air. I ignored them and instead headed to the back of the garden, tiptoeing as I walked so my heels didn't sink into the soft turf.

Moonlight bounced off the surface of the lake as I eventually met the waters edge. It was so calm and peaceful down here, it was even better than I'd hoped when I went out searching for some quiet. It was breezy though, and as I wrapped my arms around myself my eyes spotted the treehouse Zac had brought me to the other day. Without a second thought I lowered the stepladder and climbed inside, thankful that I'd taken it easy with the alcohol tonight as I wasn't in the mood for any broken bones.

As soon as I'd pulled myself inside I switched on the fairy lights, illuminating the treehouse with a soft warm glow, and plonked myself down on the little balcony area overlooking the lake.

Taking a few lungful of fresh air I Immediately felt the claustrophobia and guilt lift. I knew as soon as I went back inside those feelings would return again but it was a relief to have a mental break. With those thoughts gone images of Luke and Oli flooded into my head. The thought instantly brought a smile to my face.

I couldn't believe it, I genuinely had no idea but the shock didn't stop the corners of my mouth tugging upwards.

Luke was like a brother to me and although I was sad and confused that as far as I knew he hadn't shared his feelings with anyone, I was also happy that he'd found someone like Oli and vice versa. All I wanted was happiness for both of them.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been sat outside for but it felt like too soon when I heard the familiar groan of the ladder creaking beneath someone's weight, announcing that I was about to have company.

'How did you find me?' I asked as Zac sat himself down on the floor next to me.

'I know you better than you think I do.'
I tore my eyes away from the lake to catch the glint in his warm grey eyes. He smiled softly before passing me the bottle of Jack Daniel that I found behind the makeshift bar the other day.

'I think we both need this.'

I undid the cap, silently agreeing with him and took a small swig. The alcohol burned my throat as it went down but it warmed the pit of my stomach, taking the chill off me.
'Why do you require hard liquor?' I raised an eyebrow as I passed the bottle back to him.

'I'll tell if you do.'

I laughed softly.
'You'll be here for a while. There's a lot going on up in here.' I tapped myself on the forehead making Zac laugh.

'I know. I can see the cogs working and I don't care, I want to hear it.'

'Do you?' I looked him in the eyes, searching for any signs that he wasn't being honest, but instead all I found was concern.

'I do.'

'Why?'

'Because I care.'

I looked away, averting my eyes to focus instead on the soft ripples of water that rolled towards to shoreline.
I could've lied, told him the same bullshit I'm not feeling well story that I told Kane, but I knew Zac would see straight through it. Plus, for once I did genuinely wanted to be honest with my feelings. I was done holding it in.

'I feel guilty. Guilty that I'm leading Kane on. Guilty that I'm trying to force myself to feel something for him when I can't stop thinking about someone else.' And then here came the corker of all word vomit. 'I feel jealous, I feel embarrassed and then I feel worried.'