appearance (namjoon)

9. no more safety

y/npov. 

I ran and ran and ran, tears escaping my eyes. Memories came flooding back into my mind, the day my life fell apart. . . 

(when i was in 2nd grade)

~flashback starts~

I happily skipped, my precious toy bunny wrapped in my arms. the sky was painted with wondrous hues, clouds forming together in all different shapes and sizes. 

even one of them were shaped as a unicorn! 

Today was going to be a good day

The playground emerged into my sight, causing sparks within me to explode. A smile spread across my face as i gripped onto my bunny tighter. Continuing my journey to the playground, i hummed my favorite song. 

Follow everywhere I go

Top over the mountains or valley low

Give you everything you've been dreaming of

Just let me in, ooh

Everything you want in gold, I'll be the magic story you've been told

And you'll be safe under my control

Just let me in, ooh

(Lily- Alan Walker & Emelie Hollow)

I see my friends! they are all crowded together, i wonder what they are doing.  

"Hey guys! Wa'cha guys doing, mind if i join?" i gleefully asked, eyes full of hope. 

One of them glanced at me skeptically, then turning her head back to the others, whispering. A couple of them started snickering, occasionally stealing a glance at me. 

Confusion was plastered onto my face, they were different. Why were they laughing at me?Seems a bit fishy. . . 

As i strode uncomfortably back to them, i picked my finger up and delicately tapped one's shoulder. 

"What's going on?" 

She flinched at my finger, briskly stepping away from me as if i had a disease. Everyone followed, turning their backs at me and walking away. Not even sparing me a glance. My eyebrows knitted together and i squinted my eyes together. 

what. was. happening. 

Soon, confusion changed into desperation, lightly clawing at my brain. Without any control over my body, i sprinted towards them. 

"Please tell me, what happened? Why are you guys ignoring and leaving me?" I panted out, scanning all of their faces for any possible emotions. 

"You, you are the problem. We don't want to play with you anymore, you are too pathetic for us." Disgust dripped from her words. 

"oh yeah, we have a surprise for you." her voice abruptly changed from disgust to brightness. 

Perhaps, they were just joking and acted all of that to give me a surprise? 

Before my brain could register what was happening, footsteps shuffled from behind me like a ninja. In an instance, cold substances coated my head and dripped down to my face and neck. 

CODE RED

CODE RED

I jerked away from all of them, desperation and betrayal swarming withing my emotions. wiping a finger on my head, i inspected it carefully. 

blue

water-like

this was blue food coloring. I lifted my head, staring at them with disgust. They cackled at my reaction, falling and rolling on the floor. 

"Y-you guys are g-going to regret t-that." I stuttered, tears starting to form in my eyes. Tightening my grip on my bunny, i bolted back home. Not daring to look back, i let my foot carry me to my safe spot, home. 

Home, the place i felt safe, protected from the rest of the world. 

Arriving at my doorstep, i knocked and waited. Food coloring dripped down my shoes, and yet my bunny remained clean without a spec of blue. 

The door hastened open, leaving a man staring at me. I glanced his way, waiting for his comforting words that would heal me. Instead, his gaze remained cold and emotionless. 

"Come in." He silently stated, gritting his teeth. 

I didn't know why he was like this, what happened? cluelessly, i stepped into the house.

All of a sudden, a fist collided with the wall that i rested my back against. My dad looked back at me with fire burning in his eyes. 

Never have i seem him so upset, literal smoke coming out of his ears. My breathing fastened as i sensed something wrong. 

"You are so useless! Always causing trouble and being a burden to everyone on this world. You were the one that killed your mom, your fault. It would be in your favor to FINALLY die and leave everyone in peace. useless brat, G.O   D.I.E" He pronounced every syllable clearly, his menacing tone couldn't go unnoticed. 

This was a shocker, he never talked to me like this before. Before only comforting words left his lips. My face lost color, my breath getting unsteady and harder. 

I had to get out.

 I ducked under his arm, scurrying back to my room. I shut the door and jumped onto my  bed. 

Tears escaped my eyes, streaming down my face. I clutched my bunny against my chest, curling into a ball. I shook as my tears became heavier and buried my face in my bunny. My friends abandoned me, my dad turned against me, and my mom was gone. what worse could happen? I cuddled my bunny, being the only thing that comfort would ever bring me. The only thing that would calm me down, give me hope for the next day. As I shut my eyes, dream land appeared into view. 

Dream land.

the place where only happiness existed

where nothing that you did was wrong

and love was not a privilege

~flashback ends~

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sorry if everything in the past chapters were all depressing... I promise it will get better~