appearance (namjoon)

8. bloodshed

warning: abuse and self-harm

if you are not comfortable, please skip this chapter! 

y/n pov.

we stood there in silence, I stared right into my 'so called dad ''s eyes. I raised an eyebrow, challenging his status in the household.

he takes one step behind, signaling for you to come in. I skeptically step into the house, embracing yourself for what might happen next. my so called 'mom' shifted to the corner of the room, watching as if it was a movie.

I smelled something terribly wrong.

alcohol

that FREAKING OLD HAG HAS BEEN DRINKING

I stood there staring into his eyes, watching his every move. My eyes shifted to the rather bright computer screen on the dinner table.

My grades!

I gawked at the screen, eyes wide, bewildered that he would actually know about my test score.

but i shouldn't have been too surprised, of course he would try to find a reason to hurt me

My focus bounced back to him, staring at me with his blank eyes.

"Umm, are there any problems?" I cocked my eyebrow, once again challenging him.

He poked his tongue in his inner-cheek while tapping the tip of his shoe on the ground.

"actually, yes. I see that you used your nonexistent brain and eyes to look at my computer screen, did you not?"

"no shit sherlock, i did look at your computer screen"

"you better listen very closely, tell me why you got an 'F'"

I was pleasantly surprised that he didn't curse at me yet.

"well, the teacher was the one that technically graded my assignment and gave me my grade, so if you have any questions, ask him."

"HAH," he scoffed pretending to be surprised, throwing his hands up into the air. "you are getting some attitude now, huh? Don't play dumb with me, we all know very well that it wasn't your teacher's fault. In fact, it is your's."

"perhaps it was."i bluntly responded, avoiding all eye contact, staring at the wall behind him.

"it was, it was your stupid, fucking brain that got you this score. If you can't even get a few questions right, there is no hope for you in this world. oh wait, i forgot, you didn't have any hope in the first place." He replied, cackling at his dry humor. " you cant even do anything right. Nothing, none. You have never accomplished anything, never had any skills, no friends, therefore useless in this world."

he continued, slowly striding closer to me by every word he spoke. Eyes narrowing down, mouth pronouncing every syllable.

"no one ever wanted you, you are and always will just be a burden for everyone. Your friend, fucking Euno, doesnt want you. She's just there so she can use you, like all the people in your life."

I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut, convincing myself that Euno would always remain by my side forever. I couldn't be like those other characters in the fanfics that believe what that old hag is saying. Euno would stay with me forever, she never used me.

"You are a disgrace to our family, a d.i.s.g.r.a.c.e." the letters fell down from his lips, crashing into the ground with a thump.

"look at all your fats, look at how utterly disgusting you look. No one will ever want to become friends with you because of that. Oh how i am mistaken, even if you look prettier no one would be friends with you because of how ugly you are inside." snickering, he fell into a deeper laughter. Throwing back his head, placing a hand on his chest, signaling his pleasure.