SkaterGirl

Chapter Five

A few hours later, I went home. The boys and Cayla were skeptical about me being home alone, but I insisted I was fine. I just needed time to grieve. I turned on the TV and didn't even pay attention to the shows.

I felt empty. Numb. I took advantage of being alone and cried my guts out. At one point, I cried so much, I puked. I got myself some iced water and continued to watch TV. I wasn't even sure what I was watching.

Now I know my dad wasn't the nicest guy. But he never hit me. He shouldn't have said the things he did, but he was also depressed. I was so used to being yelled at that it was weird for it to not happen anymore.

Knocks at the front door confused me. Who could it be? The boys and Cayla didn't know where I lived. And I didn't know anyone else. Hesitantly, I walked to the front door and looked through the peep hole.

"Danny?" I opened the door.

"Hey," he said.

"How did you find my house?" I asked.

"We followed you," he said.

"We?" I asked.

The rest of the gang emerged from behind him.

"We just wanna be here for you," Luke said.

I was speechless. The last time someone cared this much, my mom was alive. I looked down, not sure what to do. "I appreciate the gesture, I do. I just... There's so much about me that y'all don't know. And that's my fault for not telling. But if you knew half of who I am, y'all would run."

One by one, they all came inside. They sat on the living room floor and I looked at them, appalled.

"Tell us," Kyle said.

I shut the door and sat in front of them.

"We won't run," Vince said.

I took a deep breath and looked at my hands.

I started back to the days when my mom was alive. And how she was sweet and kind. About how her hair always smelled like roses, how her smile lit the room, how funny she was. And her hugs were always the best. Then, I talked about her death and how it impacted me and my dad. About how my dad turned to booze for comfort and took his aggression out on me. I hesitated when it came time to tell them about my anorexia and cutting.

"And, uh... I'm anorexic. I also cut my upper thighs, because it's the only thing that helps. In a way," I struggled. "I've struggled with eating my whole life. It got worse in school because everyone liked to pretend I was pregnant. So I stopped eating all together. And now I rarely eat and only drink."

It was silent for a while. They all looked at each other and then looked at me. Danny was the first to say something.

"Well, I will say, we're all here for you and I can't believe how strong you are."

"Strong?" I scoffed. "I'm such a weakling. I'm a mess."

"Yeah, but your dad just passed away. You have a right to be. When I first met you, I never would've thought you dealt with all that," Vince said.

"Abs, I don't think you realize how much we actually care about you," Kyle said. "We've always cared about you."

"You just seem so tough. It's weird to see you so upset," Cayla said.

"You have the right to break every now and then," Luke said.

Hearing these things really made me get emotional. I wasn't used to compliments and comfort. I knew I needed to respond, but my mouth wouldn't let me. All it would let me do was cry and I was so tired of crying. I hated it so much. I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and I tensed up as I continued to cry.

"Danny, what are you doing?" Vince's voice asked.

"Comforting her," he said.

"Luke, Mom messaged me. We need to go home," Cayla said.

"Okay. See you later, Abs," Luke said and they left.

It was nice just having Danny, Vince, and Kyle there. I knew them better. I felt safer with them. When I finally stopped crying, Danny didn't let go. I just looked at Vince and Kyle and they engulfed me in a hug. I hadn't even noticed Danny left the living room till he came back with four bowls of ice cream.

"Here, Abs. We're gonna help you through this," Danny said, giving me my bowl.

"But--"

"Nope. No arguing," he said.

"What about your families? Y'all have lives too," I said.

"You're forgetting I live on my own now," Danny said.

"Same here," Vince said.

"I don't live on my own yet, but I already told my family. They're okay with me chillin here," Kyle said.

"I can't thank you guys enough," I said.

"There's no need," Kyle said.

"Come on," Vince said. "Let's watch some TV."

We all sat on the couch. Danny on my right, Kyle on my left, and Vince next to Kyle. They made me eat my ice cream and it was so good. I couldn't remember the last time I had ice cream. It had to've been a long time ago. When I finished my ice cream, I set my bowl on the coffee table in front of me and rested my head on Danny's arm to go to sleep.