Fallen Angel

Fallen Angel (Part 9)

I can't unlove you.
I can't unsee those eyes.
I can't unfeel your vibe.
I can't unwant your touch.
No matter what I try and I don't wanna try, I can't unlove you.

The night went on with the cold moon. When he close his eyes, he could hear her saying “Jaan sleep”. This illusion made him sleep. He slept, left all his questions unanswered. Do y'all know what's worse than bad? Raising questions even when you already know that you won't be getting any answers. When your heart is filled with pain, the only possible way to sleep is when your eyes gets tired.

(Next morning)

Jaan woke up and he could see his entire family having coffee and discussing something. Without letting them know, he went out to meet his friend. Jaan had only one best friend (Ayan) with whom he have grown up. Ayan was so happy to see Jaan after two years...

Jaan: Hey Ayan! How's life going?

Ayan: Great. How are you and what were you doing these days ?

Jaan: I'm good and busy with work. You know what I've been promoted to the next level.

Ayan: In life???

Jaan: what do you mean by “In life” ?

Ayan: I was asking about your life!  Did you promote your life ? Did you moved on?

Jaan: Why should I move on? This isn't a break-up! We didn't break-up! We still love each other. Btw, what do y'all mean by “Move on”? Do you want me to stop loving her or marrying some other girl and acting like I don't love my Ginny anymore? Is this what you want me to do Ayan?

Ayan: I don't want you to forget her. I know you can't. But, think about your parents. They deserve to see you happy. Do something for them. Don't hurt the people you have with for the one who left you , unfortunately.

Jaan: I never loved anyone more than my parents. I want to make them feel happy and proud about me. But, if marrying is the only way to make them feel happy, SORRY I can't help it.

Ayan: Your Being very selfie Jaan. Didn't expect this from you. She changed you so much. Almost to bad...

I every step, in every breathe of mine, I'll feel you. You'll always be in every sight of mine,  in every voices I hear, My ears will be filled with your whispers, your laughter and cries....

Jaan: Yes, I'm selfish. I'm selfish because I can't unlove her. I can't see any other girl the way I saw her. I can't feel that vibe, someone else with. My eyes not gonna wink at anyone anymore. My lips won't be ready to kiss anyone anymore. Even, if I hug another girl I won't be feeling that warmth again. I can't hold anyone in my arms and watch them sleeping, anymore. My hands won't be asking for the heat of anyone. My body won't be shivering for a hug anymore. My legs won't be expecting for a walk with. My life have designed to change to a different level. This made me selfish. And yes, as you said “She have changed me to bad”, that's why I didn't end up in suicide. If I was a normal man , I would've ended up in suicide. But, she changed me from “normal” to “extra special”. That's why, even after this much big loss still I've the courage to live my life. I bet, if anyone of you were in my situation, you would've ended up your life. And if you call me selfish for this lemme be selfish.

Ayan: Jaan !. (Hugs him and gone speechless).

Jaan: Try to understand Ayan. I can't get married only because I've to get married or it's age for marriage. The meaning of life is not only about marrying and making a family. It's about finding love. Who knows, years later if I genuinely falls for a girl I might get married. I'm not against marriage. I'm against marrying a girl without loving her. You called me selfish, that's fine. But if I marry a girl for sake of all of you, that's what will make me selfish. What if I marry a girl for my parents and if i can't give her the love she deserves? Would that be fair ? Definitely not Ayan. Already I'm trying hard to make it possible for me to live, please don't add up pain .I beg you!