I Don't Want To Die Alone

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The days start to fly by, one by one. As I walk from class to class, the days start to shorten and the nights become longer and longer. It's colder out now, cold enough that I wake up freezing in my room if I leave the window open. Kellin's spending less and less time with me, now that he's assured himself that I'm not going to break. He doesn't stay in my room anymore, instead leaving me when its lights out. I find myself missing him, feeling the familiar emptiness and longing. He disappears for weeks on end, only showing up to say hello a few times. Whenever I ask him, he brushes it off or ignores me completely.

"How are you?" Kellin asks out of the blue. We're sitting in my room, me on my bed, him on the floor, leaning against the closet door.

"I'm good," I say, looking up from the sheets of equations I've been staring at.

"That's good," Kellin echoes softly. I sneak a glance over at him to see him watching me.

"What is it?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "Nothing. It doesn't matter."

"No, really." I put my pen down, looking over at him. "Where have you been?"

Kellin just shrugs, avoiding my gaze. "You know," he says lightly. "Ghost things."
I can he doesn't want to talk about it so I drop the subject.

"I should head out," Kellin says abruptly. I nod, slightly taken aback. There are still a few hours of daylight left—he usually doesn't leave until dusk.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I ask, watching him as he heads toward the door.

"Yeah," he says. "See you." He shuts the door before I can respond, leaving me alone in my room.

~*~*~*~*~

"Have you guys talked to Kellin recently?" I ask.

"Yeah, the other day," Alex responds as he holds the door open for someone passing by. "Why?"

"Do you think he's acting strange?" I ask.

"Not really," Alex frowns. "What? Have you noticed something?"

I shrug. "He's been just acting kind of distant. I was wondering if there's something wrong."

"It's probably nothing," Jack grins suddenly, nudging me. "Oh, you have it bad."

"Shut up." I swat him away, my cheeks burning. Jack shoots Alex a mischievous glance and I frown.

"What?" I ask.

Alex just laughs, shaking his head at Jack. "We got you tickets for the dance," he says. Oh, homecoming. I had completely forgotten about it, after everything that happened. Not like I was going to go anyway.

"Why?" I ask. "We've literally never gone."

"Do we really have to go over this?" Jack asks. "Because we don't trust you to be alone anymore."

"Fine, Mom," I mutter.

Alex just gives me a look, making me shake my head. "So, is it just going to be the four of us?"

Jack nods. "No, Jenna got asked to some dance at another school. It'll just be a boys night out."

You guys just sit with me in the corner?" I ask.

"If we have to, we will," Alex says.

"I don't want to intrude," I say softly. "You two should have a good time. I don't want you guys to think you have to take care of me."

"We will, even if you don't want us to," Jack says. I can tell they're not going to back down.

"Don't you need a date or something?" I mutter, trying to look for an excuse.

"We're all going together."

"You want me to third wheel on the two of you?" I ask.

"You won't be third wheeling," Alex says.

"Oh, we didn't mention?" Jack grins. "Kellin's taking you."

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⏰ Last updated: Nov 24, 2020 ⏰

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