I'll probably delete this tomorrow because I always regret the things I do/post in the midst of a mental breakdown but I just need someone to hear me right now. Because I honestly feel like I'm drowning and I can't breathe. I know I'm being dramatic, and I'll feel really stupid tomorrow, but right now this is how I feel, even if it's stupid.
I'm not even sure what this is, a rambling, a poem, whatever.
- trigger warning -> my mental breakdown -
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Didn't you hear?
Suicide ideology and depression are a trend.
"I want to die."
"Same."
But only by those who I actually reach out to. Because i don't consider it serious enough to tell my mom.
"I want to die."
"I'm calling 911."
No, I don't mean literally.
Well...
I mean everything has built up and I'm trying to let some of it out but it's like using a child's shovel to take some water out of the ocean but there's someone else trying to take the shovel out of my hand and one more inch to the left and I'll fall in.
I mean I'm crying and I don't know why but my throat is closing and even if the tears stop, the moment I stand they'll come again.
I mean everyone who I've accepted is gone, I miss so terribly it feels like the stars are dying and the moon is falling and the entire world is about to collapse.
I mean I feel like even though I do everything right, I'm still doing it wrong.
I mean even though I take care of everyone, I don't get the appreciation I deserve.
I mean I miss that pretty little girl who everyone adored, that princess who smiled with her teeth and loved more freely. Who didn't immediately question a mans intentions and didn't crave recognition and attention.
I mean...
I want to die....
But I don't want anyone to miss me like that...
I want to die...
But I'm scared.
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Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt myself in any way, just need to release these feeling. If you need to get anything off your chest, feel free. I'll listen.
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Sterek fics
FanfictionAll of the stories in this book are written by ME unless stated otherwise. I'm currently doing writer features so email me if you are interested in having your sterek fic featured :)
