Filling The Gap...

William

She looked peaceful when I had left her. After everything that I had done to this family the last thing they needed was to worry about me not that they should after what my father had done to them. I felt the pull getting more aggressive, I had stopped the bleeding and put pressure on it for enough time to get everything I needed to do done. She wouldn't be helpless. She wouldn't have to worry about money. After searching around i finally end up inside my father's house using nearly all of my energy being able to trace where he had been living, the house located far away from anyone. It wasn't really a house more of a mansion, tall metal gates enclosing everything and everyone off. Nice to know he had spent some of my inheritance well. I cant help but look around statues and and ancient artifacts cover the hallways. Finally finding a room that looks like it could be a office i step inside not taking long to find the safe hidden away in the wall behind a painting. I he was so predicable it was scary how well i still knew him.  Pushing the forces around me, sweat beading down my forehead as i ghost my hand through the metal safe which is locked and couldn't be opened without a pin and a fingerprint. I feel instantly stacks of pound notes pulling them out one by one placing it into a bag. It wasn't nearly enough to what i would of had but it was enough to live comfortably. Wishing there was more i could do..More i could give them. But it was all i could think of that i was capable of doing. Some would consider this as stealing, theft. But it was mine. All of this could have been mine had I of lived. Something inside me begins to weigh me down my vision starting to blur as a figure ghosts in and out of my eye sight.

It doesn't take long for me to reach Katie's car stashing the money inside of the boot having taken the spare key a couple of days when i felt my body failing me. I couldn't leave anything to chance if i needed to get somewhere quickly i needed to be on form.Leaving the money inside the car all bagged up and hidden away with a note inside one that i had quickly written having folded the paper in half and no longer wanting to think about everything that i was leaving behind. I almost chuckle when i think back to when i first met Katie and her family wanting nothing more than to get rid of them and for myself to disappear. Now wanting the complete opposite. There was nothing more I could do figuratively for them, I was a ghost after all. No amount of money would ever bring back what had I had taken away from her and Robbie. Anything else I could think of would take too much time far longer than I had left. If it hadn't been for Robbie nudging me every so often back at the hospital I don't think I would still be here, i could feel my self slipping away every minute that pasted.

I sit down on the dirty ground above where my grandparents are buried. The air still thick of smoke. I can partly hear members of the fire brigade shouting out in the distance as they search and investigate the burned down house. Sweat continues to coat  my body as I finally allow the pull to take its course slowly letting go of the wall of energy i had put up. I didn't deserve anymore time here. I had failed. I had destroyed a family...I was just like my father. My muscles go limp when I lose the feeling in my fingers then arms numbness starting take over my entire body till i couldn't feel anything barely being able to keep my eyes open as a cough escapes my lips wet dark liquid spitting outwards as a stream of blood drips down from my chin on to my hand.

'William'

Squinting my eyes as they begin to blur again until I see a figure now walking towards me. Leaves rustling from every footstep the figure makes getting closer to me.

'I've been waiting for you.'

The figure now stood in front of me in a white glowing dress as the moonlight shines down on us between the trees. A owl hoots near us as I stare up at my mother who kneels down in front of me. Her eyes soft and full of tenderness just like i had remembered her.

'What took you so long?'

I try to speak but stop when the liquid becomes to thick and gurgles in my throat. Gently she rests her hand on my shoulder an energy rushes through me suddenly the pain and emptiness that was slowly taking over becomes less forceful.

"I'm sorry mum. I just....got lost along the way."

Her face the same as when she had been alive, her skin flawless but her hair a little longer than it was before. Her lips smiling at me as her fingers skim along my forehead and then down to my chest where blood continues to seep through my hoodie.

'I am so proud of you William. I know things didn't go the way you wanted. But we cant help what happens in the moment, we can't change the past as much as we want to. You blame yourself for what happened to this family.....to her mother just like the little girl..'

Tears fall downwards on to my cheeks as she gently wipes them away. I see her lips move before stopping her closing briefly before reopening. 

'It's time son.'

She lightly smiles and squeezes my hand. The ground and area around us begins to fade into the ghost lands the moonlight getting brighter. A mystical light shines around my mother as she now squeezes my hand that I now begin to feel again. The pain in my chest increases causing me to wince and struggle, the bullet wounds that have probably done a fuck lot of damage to my insides when blood continues to pour of my mouth like a water fountain. The thought of Katie and Robbie run through my mind as I regret not saying goodbye to them. Will they be okay? Will she find someone else who will treat her better? She deserved that. She deserved better. They both did.

'Don't fight it son. You must let go.'

Let go? My mother stares at me her fingers pushing the damp hair that falls down on my forehead.

"I...I can't mum."

I can't let her go. The guilt being to painful for me to swallow and ignore.

"I can't leave them mum. They need...I need them. I need her."

I watch as her hand lightly strokes across my arm as she leans closer to me. Her arms going around me as she pulls me to her holding me tightly.

'It won't be easy William. This is it. Once you close this door, you are on your own. There are no more chances. Is this what you want?'

Slowly nodding I feel a sudden energy shoot through me. The whole forest glowing as it blinds everything around me, a strong gust of wind blows as a loud crack of thunder booms above us a flash of lightening shoots down from the sky. The brightness becoming to bright for my eyes blinding me until I can see....nothing......

To be continued......