Angel : what's under your skirt Char?
me, lying through my teeth : a dog
Ash : ex-FUCKING-scuse you! I have a name!
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Ash : I'm not jealous!
Bee : you locked your guys' cat in the basement because it was sleeping on Char's chest
Ash : yeah? well that's my spot!
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me : bet you I can 15 marshmallows in my mouth
Bee, the most sane one in our friend group : Charlotte, you are a hazard to society
Snek : and a coward. do 30.
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Ash : were you dropped on your head as a child?
me : bold of you to assume I was even held
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Angel, jumping out from behind a corner : RAH!
me : ah! stoooooooooop! I could've dropped my croissant
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me : *throwing rocks at Ash's window*
Ash, loudly : you have your phone for a reason!
*THUMP*
Ash : DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR FUCKING PHONE AT MY WINDOW?!
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Angel : so....did you kiss them?
me : no. the moment wasn't right.
me : look, Ash could be my future spouse, I want our first kiss to be perfect
Angel : aww, (redacted), that's so sweet. you chickened out like a little bitch.
