Save me

Pain

Rachel
I look down at the ring in my hand, it's the promise ring that Finn gave to me 4 years ago for Christmas and I never had the heart to throw it away. I may tell everyone that I hate Finn Hudson, and curse them for bringing up his name but the truth is I don't. I couldn't hate him if I tried.

"Hello?" A voice calls from the front door that has just opened and I jump and hide the ring. That's brody, my boyfriend who I happen to be terrified of.

I've tried to break things off, I've tried so hard but the man uses me as his literal punching bag and whenever I tried to end things he got worse with his 'punishments' as he likes to call them so I gave up trying.

Brody is my manager, when I first came to New York I got offered a record deal relatively quickly so of course I snapped up the opportunity. Things were great when we moved, Finn, Chris and I bought our first home together as did Kurt and Blaine and Noah and Santana. I was so excited that we all came to New York together but things are different now.

When Finn and I broke up, brody was there as a shoulder to cry on and eventually he started to show interest so I went for it. My heart will always be broken and I will never love anyone as much as I love Finn but I had to move on and in my worst moments brody made me feel sexy and desirable. After Finn left I felt like neither of those things...it was nice.

When Brody and I first started dating things were okay I guess. We had nothing in common and if I'm honest he was one of the most boring  people I'd ever met, but that pathetic schoolgirl part of me thought that it would make Finn jealous and the gossip blogs loved it.

After a month or so, I decided to call things off with Brody. That night was the first time that he hit me, it was just a slap in the face and nothing compared to what he does now but I was shocked. He threatened me, he's my manager and can end my career that I love and worked so hard for. After that night, hurting me became like his drug and he did it for fun. He showed no remorse or guilt afterwards, he told me that it was my fault and I guess he's right...after all the only reason I started things with him was to make Finn jealous which didn't even work.

The relationship continued, and my fear grew worse. We've been together for six months and even though we don't live together he has given me 'house rules'. Like for example, I'm not allowed people in the house without his permission or him being there, I'm not allowed to make plans with people without him or his permission and the rest are just like that. I figured he thought that I'd tell people about what he does to me but I'm not going to, not only am I terrified but I'm used to it so I may as well just carry on living my life... if it's even living anymore.

I couldn't bear to move to out of my first home with my own family so I stayed, I get Chris on weekdays and Finn has him on weekends but we have no contact, I make sure of that which is why Noah and Santana drop him off and pick him up. Whenever any of them try and bring him up I just leave the room or yell at them, he's the reason I still cry myself to sleep and the reason I'll never fully be happy again.

Brody walks into my bedroom where I'm trying to apply makeup to my new black eye, fresh from the night before when he threw a tv remote at me, why? I'm not sure, but I stopped bothering to try and find out months ago. Noah stopped by last night and invited me to lunch at the park, it's the middle of summer yet I'm having to wear long sleeved clothing to hide my scars. I know he's worried, I know they all are. I've been pushing them away because I don't want them to find something out or get pulled into my troubles but he insisted and brody was there which is why we're going.

"Are you ready?" He asks lamely, looking at himself in the mirror.

"I just need to finish my makeup" I mumble, it's not really doing much to cover my bruise but all I need is some sunglasses.