Almost Lovers||H.S

Chapter 26

"You look so wonderful in your dress
I love your hair like that
The way it falls on the side of your neck
Down your shoulders and back
We are surrounded by all of these lies
And people that talk too much
You got that kind of look in your eyes
As if no one knows anything but us
Should this be the last thing I see
I want you to know it's enough for me
'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need
I'm so in love"

****

Allegra

I'm bored out of my mind. Jace is at work, Ronnie is out with a "friend", I'm not talking to Chris and Odi is napping on the couch. I don't know what to do with my life and being on my period is only making everything worse.

Mr Hottie is at a dinner with the band he is working with. They finally completed the record and decided to celebrate and I didn't hear from him in a few hours, which is completely fine because I think I'm going crazy.

What kind of woman thinks she's falling in love with a man she barely knows? Yes, he is indeed beautiful and yes, I like him very much but I've known him for what? Four months? It can't be, hence I'm going crazy.

I've never loved anyone besides Chris, and it's been years since I fell in and out of love with him, so much time I don't even remember how it happened but I know it took me time and that we took things slowly, while with Mr Hottie everything seems rushed: time, sex, feelings. Everything hits ten times harder then it did with Christopher and now I don't know if it's just my hormones talking, making me believe I really am falling in love with him, or if it's really happening and now I'm head over the hills for a man I barely know.

And to say four months ago I didn't even want a relationship, look at me now, whining about how I'm confused over my feelings for a man I met in a bar.

I'm pathetic, innit?

It feels like I'm sixteen again, trying to sort out my emotions while laying on my childhood bed with a sad Avril Lavigne's song blasting from my old stereo while I eat a whole bag of Cheetos.

Now it's the same, but the bed as been replaced by my couch, Avril has been replaced by Adele and Cheetos turned into wine and well... Cheetos. Oh, and I don't have a crush on Nathan Pierce like I did back in high school, but on Mr Hottie aka Harry Styles the man
who - with his dick - literally rocked my world.

How fitting.

In the last days, I've made a mental list of the pros and cons of reasons why I should and shouldn't be falling in love with Harry and let me tell you, it only made everything worse.

So far, the list of pros has stuff like: he looks like a Greek god, he knows how to please a lady - which could sound a bit superficial but not every man knows how to do it -, he is sweet, caring, passionate, talk french and makes me feel like I could run the world.

On the other hand, the list of cons has stuff like: he is secretive, disappears from time to time, he is borderline jealous, he has an ager issue - which I still need to understand if it's in the past or not - and then there are Chris words ringing in my head like a loud alarm.

I know I should have let him talk that day and not jump to conclusions, but I hated how he thought it was a good idea to look into Mr Hottie past. I know he had the best intentions, I get it, but at the same time, it angers me how he thought Mr Hottie hadn't been honest with me. He told me about his troubled past and what he did to go in jail, for once he was open and let his walls down for me to have a little peck of his life and I don't want to jeopardise it by having more information from Chris.