Not Born for This World

Chapters 2

As I lay sprawled out on my bed, I felt my dog Fiesta lick my face. He had a habit of doing that every time he was hungry. I got up to feed  him. On my way back to bed, I accidentally caught a glimpse of myself in the floor length mirror on the bedroom wall. I jumped back accidentally managing to knock over Fiesta's bowl of food startled by my current appearance.

I couldn't recognized the girl staring back at me in the mirror; so frail, as if all life had been drained out of her.

My long black  hair was unkempt, sticking out in all directions with a heap of it resting in a mop looking like a bird's nest. My hair band was barely hanging on.

My once brown lively eyes were now swollen and red brimmed,a result of my countless days of non-stop tear shedding.

I had on a knee length black T-shirt,which looked rather ill fitted over my thin frame. I noticed I had lost quite a lot of weight which made my body look like a bag of bones.This was as a result of not eating.
In short,I looked exactly like the mess I was currently feeling...a walking shell of my previous self.

Growing up, I had practically looked like  my Mum's twin. I inherited her dark complexion,her plump full lips,her rubenesque figure,her long pitch black hair and her long eye lashes.

However,fashionwise, we had been very different. She had practically been a walking Black Barbie with her perfect pink manicured nails, her flawless make up,her  good fashion sense and the confident way in which  she always carried herself. I on the other hand,was a walking provocation to the Fashion Police.

Personality wise, we were both rather soft spoken.

We both loved romantic movies,dancing, white roses and the colour blue which had been our all time favourite colour.

On nights when the sky was clear,we had also loved going outdoors and lying on the grass, watching the stars in the sky.

My Mum had been my best friend, and both her and my Dad had been my only pillar.

Being their only child,they  were rather soft on me. It had been evident to anyone with a clear set of eyes that they were overly protective towards me.

Three days ago,It had hurt so much staring into their open caskets.I had barely been able to make it through.

Their familiar beautiful faces,had seemed so familiar...yet so lifeless...so close for me to touch and yet so far and cold.

At the Cemetery, the hardest part had been seeing their bodies being lowed  into their graves.

That moment when their coffins had hit the hard gravel with I had passed out only to gain back consciousness to the sound of the heavy rough grains of rocks,hitting their wooden coffins.

That sound was the same sound that was now haunting me in my sleep. It was now engraved into my existance.
That had been my last confirmation that I was indeed now...all alone. Death had won and with their death came the dreadful confirmation that I would  never  ever be alive again.

A part of me died that day, leaving behind nothing but a shell of my own body.

Lisa and Maria,who had been my two said best friends, had stood right there by my side holding me in comfort.
Nonetheless I felt completed alone and totally numb to their efforts to comfort me.

I felt like nobody truly understood what I was going through.

My pain was a load that I had to carry,and even as the kept telling me that eventually everything would  be okay,I knew they were just lying to me to make themselves feel better.