Blood Burden

« Chapter Twenty-Eight »

She hesitantly climbed into the vehicle. 

She had never had much experience with these motorized machines and they made her slightly nervous. She didn't like change, that was one thing she had decided since the very beginning of this journey. Change was scary and it held so much unknown. It was like tidal waves crashing onto the beach and sweeping away any remnants of familiarity, leaving behind unbothered sand that was ready for new footprints. She didn't want to walk any further, she wanted to let herself drown. 

There was so much that had happened over the past few weeks. She had killed her abuser, escaped her prison, lost her best friend, and then she lost herself. She didn't know which one was worse, it all just accumulated into a giant mess of agony and her only coping strategy was to ignore everything and push everyone away. That seemed like the better, easiest option, because she didn't have anyone she trusted like Fabian. If only he was here, maybe things would have been better. She hated to disappoint him, he would surely roll in his grave if he knew what she had planned next. 

But, nobody could change her mind. 

She stared out the window of the vehicle as the land whipped by in a blur of dim color. She no longer saw the vibrant colors of the forest, she just saw a bland slate of land that held dark secrets. Especially her own. And yet soon, she would disappear into the forest and there would be no more of her existence. 

Alpha Jasper was driving while Deikota sat shotgun and complained about the seatbelt bothering her pregnant stomach. She had zoned out their arguing about safety and comfort. Andy was nestled against her side, sleeping with a gentle expression, and Calvin was asleep on top of Andy. Andy's mother sat across from the two boys in the middle.

They never made eye contact but she felt like Andy's mother wanted to say something and she never gave her the opportunity as she kept her attention outside the vehicle. It was bad enough having to be confined with someone who hated her. There were two more vehicles behind them, with the rest of her pack, and she really wished she had gotten in the one with Alvarez driving. She felt like the trip would be easier to bear. Alpha Jasper and Deikota seemed oblivious to the tension in the backseat.

She was told it was a short trip, especially by vehicle, maybe an hour at most. However, time seemed to drag incredibly slow. It seemed to just want to torture her endlessly. She felt like the air in the vehicle was growing thicker by the second, slowly suffocating her until her very throat felt swollen. She focused on the boys who still slept, their innocent faces drew some relief, at least they were inspired by her struggle. At least she was worth something. 

With every mile they drew closer to Aloysius, she felt her wolf faintly perked up in the back of her mind. She frowned. She hadn't felt anything from her wolf for almost two days, so why was she coming to life now? Maybe it was apprehension about meeting the Alpha King, of the most powerful pack in the states that could rival the Werewolf Council without even half their warriors. That thought did make her stomach churn with unease. 

If she thought meeting Alpha Jasper was nerve-wracking, meeting the Alpha King was ten times worse. She really had to think about what she would say and focus on portraying the Alpha title she held. Especially since she was a Female Alpha. What if the Alpha King judged her? Deemed her unworthy? How would she find a good home for Andy? Of course, Deikota only spoke highly of Aloysius, but she reserved her agreement until she could judge them herself. If push came to shove, she was sure Andy would love to make a home at Harrow Pack.

Suddenly, her mind was rampant with thoughts. There were so many things that could go wrong, so many things she could mess up. She knew appearances were everything but she didn't know if she could muster the facade that she wasn't miserably broken. The Alpha King would probably see right through her and scoff. She was probably going to make a fool of herself. 

These nerves that overtook her body were not only from meeting the Alpha King but also from something else. Something that she couldn't feel because her wolf wasn't allowing feelings to flow through their bond. Or maybe the fact that she was unconsciously blocking her own feelings as a defense mechanism. 

She watched with a gulp as the vehicle emerged from a dense tree line to an open field that was filled with packhouses. She could tell this was a huge pack because she had never seen so many packhouses in one pack before. Her stomach sank even further. If things went south, she would never be able to defend herself or her pack. There were many pack members walking through the yards and they looked strong and powerful. Confident and happy.

When the vehicle stopped, Deikota squealed in excitement, which was the exact opposite of how she was feeling. Calvin and Andy woke with a start but when they looked outside, they instantly clambered to get out. She had never seen Alpha Jasper smile so big.

"Welcome to Aloysius!" Deikota exclaimed, "I'm so excited for you to meet everyone! You guys will get along so well with the people here!" 

She hesitantly stepped out of the vehicle but then she remembered she had to uphold an appearance, so she took a deep breath, clenched and unclenched her hands, then straightened her shoulders. For the first time in days, she was pretending again. She had to. She moved to stand closer to Deikota, who was babbling endlessly about everything, she could hardly keep up. 

Many eyes landed on her in curiosity and she felt her skin burn. Oh, she definitely hated this. They were probably already sizing her up. She wasn't worth much, she just wanted to finish the deal she made Fabian, maybe his soul could find peace, knowing she upheld her promise. Her heart twisted at the thought of Fabian not being by her side. 

All he dreamed about was making it to Aloysius and starting a new life. It felt cruel to stand in the Aloysius Pack without him. He didn't deserve what happened and she hadn't tried hard enough for him. He never got the chance to fulfill his dreams and it hurt even more to think that they started this journey together but she was finishing it alone. She took another deep breath, she needed to be strong, even if it was the last time she needed to play it off. 

However, she was completely caught off guard when the unexpected happened. 

And it definitely wasn't part of her plan.

Something suddenly stirred from the broken, darkest depths of her soul, causing her wolf to arise with a foreign feeling. She could smell a scent, so delicious and so addicting, it almost blinded her. Invading her every sense, demanding to be found. Stepping away from Deikota, she felt the urge to move forward. She had to figure out where it was coming from because for the first time in days, she felt something.

She had almost forgotten what it was to feel. 

There, her eyes landed on a male that had his back turned to her. He was laughing about something one of the other males said. His dark chocolate curls were ruffled on his head. She hadn't realized she was staring, strangely drawn to him, until he felt her stare and turned with a questionable expression. Could he feel it, too? She wondered. Her wolf was a bundle of joy, almost surging with energy beneath her skin, and she finally felt the feelings her wolf had. 

It was then, she knew. 

And she forgot everything the moment they made eye contact.

His green eyes were beautiful.

♦               ♦               ♦               ♦               ♦                ♦ 

SURPRISE!!!!!

                       WHO IS SHOCKED?!?!?                        

YA'LL ASKED FOR IT AND I CAME THROUGH! WE FINALLY MADE IT, A FEW YEARS AND A FEW BOOKS LATER, BUT WE ARE HERE! AND ITS GONNA BE EVERYTHING YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED!!!

*screams endlessly*