Blood Burden

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She hung limp in the grasp of her captors. 

Her sweet victory during the rainstorm last night was over and she was forced to face the reality of her life. It had only taken an hour when the rain stopped before someone found her. They weren't kind about it, as always, and she sported another black eye. Sometimes, she wondered what it would take to push someone too far and then maybe they could grant her wish. 

She watched the ground, wincing at the impossibly tight grip on her arms, and she let her legs drag against the ground. There was no use fighting, her punishment would be far worse. No matter how much she begged, no one would listen. It was better to be numb and let it happen. 

They were going directly to the Alpha's office. A small satisfaction seeped through her mind when the warrior wolves dragging her along kept cursing her to walk. But in all reality, she couldn't be told what to do anymore. Because it never mattered what she did, there was punishment. She just found the little ways to annoy them. 

Of course, she would run the next chance she got. She wouldn't dare be submissive to every demand. That was definitely not her nature but she had to search deep for her own will beneath all the broken pieces. It was faint, a ghostly memory, but maybe that's what gave her hope that she could escape one day. She could run and this time, go far beyond the pack territory. 

She would be free to live the life of a rogue. At least then, she could have a title. 

She was thrown to the floor, her knees scraping against the carpet, and she bit her lip to remain silent. Her hair was tangled with mud and sticks, she cringed as she watched her hair reach around her face like a curtain and touch the floor. He wasn't going to like her uncleanliness. 

"Alpha, we found her by the river." One of the warriors announced. 

She heard a chair swivel, "Its about damn time." His voice made her heart shiver in fear, "The fuck is that dirty thing doing my office?" She didn't have to look up to know what the Alpha looked like. His cruel, sadistic face was permanently ingrained in her memory. 

"Uh - we just found her and brought her straight here." 

"You didn't think to hose her down?" Alpha Drake demanded. She flinched, that meant a near death experience with drowning.

"No, Alpha." 

"I suppose it doesn't matter," Alpha Drake said, "After your punishment, you can clean my carpets before dawn. Oh, and I believe I mean without a drop of blood or you'll be paying for it. Understood, fifthly brat?" 

She nodded her head vigorously. 

"Answer me." 

"Yes, sir." She answered, emotionlessly. 

"Good," Alpha Drake said, "Take her to the pole and give her thirty lashes." 

"Yes, Alpha." 

She didn't even try to fight. Her bones felt as if they would crush beneath the warriors hateful grip but she didn't peep a sound. Pain was something she had grown accustom to since the day she was born. It didn't faze her. 

However, what did faze her was the pain inside. She never knew emotional pain to be so strong and it clawed like a crazed beast wanting release. Her heart ached in pain with every beat as if glass was wedged within. Of course, her head was always the worst place to be. Sometimes, her thoughts were not her own. A darkness lurked there, whispering deceiving ideas, and it was impossible to escape her own mind. 

She heard the sneers of the pack members as they crossed the yard. Long ago she had stopped calling them her own pack because they were anything but that. As far as she was concerned, her wolf was her only pack. Her only true friend. Though they rarely spoke anymore, she could feel the presence of her wolf from time to time. 

Just like now, as her wrists were shackled above her head, she felt the angry stirring of her wolf. Out of everyone she knew, her wolf was the only one who cared for her. She knew that these punishments made her wolf very mad because a wolf was protective of its human. 

A low hiss escaped her lips as the sear of wolfsbane from the shackles forced her wolf to grow distant in her mind. It was cruel play but one day, the wolf would be free and it would not have mercy. She waited for that day with all her heart. 

Distantly, she heard the cheer of pack members. They grew excited during her punishments, as if watching her bleed was the greatest entertainment of the century, and she loathed their stares. They had so much hate in their hearts for an innocent girl. 

Still, as her shirt was ripped from her back and her white marks were exposed, her skin burned like fire. She could feel every eye that laid sight upon her skin and she hated it. They humiliated her day-in and day-out. Would it ever be enough? She hated her own skin just as they but she couldn't change it. The mark of the moon could not be removed. 

She felt his presence in the crowd, someone she used to call father. That was, until he completely disowned her as his daughter. She was only five at the time and she didn't understand but he could have cared less. She wanted to believe that it was because he didn't want the pack to turn on him, too, but she knew in her heart that he truly didn't love her. He watched every punishment without an inch of shame, regret or grief. 

Maybe that was what made her suffering worse. It wasn't the whip that cut into her skin and raised angry welts and blood. It was the emotional torment that cut deep into her soul. A kind of pain that felt impossible to explain but it hurt far worse than any kind physical pain.

There was no relief from emotional pain. It was a raw form of pain that seeped from every pore and yet, it could not be spoken. A silent suffering from within that drew no tears. No one could understand unless they experience it. Sometimes it goes on forever and slowly the soul dies. Sometimes, it drives one to insanity and the only way to stop it is to end it. End it all. 

She wanted that. 

She just wanted to be normal like everyone else. In a different world, she would be able to make someone proud. She would be accepted as part of the pack and she could train hard to please her father. She would be a loved daughter with an incredible family. And she could be happy, as herself, without judgement for being different. But, she knew it wasn't real. 

She just needed to escape. 

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I'm going through a pretty crappy time in my life. Obviously its translating into my writing. Sometimes, I don't realize how much these characters are a part of me. 

Thoughts on the chapter?