No Promises

chapter twenty-seven

OUT OF ALL the things I expected to happen today, this was not one of them. For once in my life, I stopped over analyzing and I just let my heart lead the way. Everything feels uncharacteristically solid. His arms feel like the safest place in the world, and now that I'm in them, I never want to leave. The more I overthink each step leading up to this point, I wonder why I spent all this time fighting something that feels this right.

"So much for complicated," I mutter quietly into the crook of his neck as I snuggle closer, delicately running my finger over his abdomen. A small laugh falls from his lips as he turns his head, kissing my forehead.

A calm fills the air between us as his hand moves down my spine. "I like complicated."

I hum gently as I move my hand over his chest, trailing down to his waist as I lean up and press my lips to the corner of his jaw. "I'm starting to like complicated," I admit as I lean onto his chest, resting my chin against my hand. "I like this."

"Which part?" he asks. "Me? Or the sex?"

"Same thing, aren't they?" I ask teasingly as I lean up, kissing him quickly. My hand resting on his neck as I trace the line of his jaw with my thumb. "I like you naked. You should do it more often."

"Oh, yeah?" He gives me a knowing look. "Will you be doing it with me?"

"Is that what it'll take to seal the deal?"

"Maybe," he says as he turns, resting his weight on his forearm as his free hand moves to brush my hair off my shoulder.

A small hum leaves my lips as he hovers over me, his bare skin warm against mine. "And what's in it for me?"

"Naked breakfast." He kisses my shoulder, drifting along my collarbone. "And lunch, and dinner," he mutters against my skin, trailing kisses up my jaw and toward my ear. "Lots, and lots of sex, all over this apartment."

His words send a shiver down my spine as I reach around, resting my hand on the small of his back as I grasp at the comforter to bring it around us. "Okay, you've convinced me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." I grin up at him as his lips find mine again. I lose myself in his scent, drowning in the pleasure of being with him. It suddenly doesn't matter how complicated this gets. I still want him. Even if this is just a losing game, it doesn't matter. I'm addicted.

I'm losing myself in him and the gentle touch of his hand as he brushes his thumb over my cheek, losing sight of everything else when he kisses me. Butterflies fill my stomach as I move my fingers along his soft skin, his muscles relaxing under my touch. Nothing has ever felt this right, and he was in front of me this whole time. The right thing to warm my heart.

It almost feels like I'm dreaming.

A giggle falls from my lips when he moves to kiss my cheek, and the fit of my laughter causes him to pull away. His eyes are warm on my skin as I duck my head, resting it against his shoulder as he rolls back to lay next to me. Unable to stop, I bring my hand up to hide behind, peeking between my fingers to see him smiling at me.

My heart does a little skip. For the first time in a really long, I'm happy.

Just happy.

So happy that I don't need to question it.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing." I shake my head as I move my hand toward his chest. "It's just high school me would be freaking out right now."

"Not college Robyn?"

"No, she's freaking out too." I exhale as I lean into him, moving my hand around to rest in the space between his shoulder blades. "God, I had the hugest crush on you in high school. How did you not know?"

A snicker falls from his lips as he gently kisses me, brushing my hair out of my face. "I knew. You're not very subtle, Rob."

My heart lunges at the nickname. It suddenly holds so much more weight now. It's not just something I can brush under the rug. It's his name for me. "You never said anything."

"I didn't want to make things weird for you or Stevie."

"Weird?" I frown. "How would it have made it weird?"

He shrugs his shoulders as his eyes drift up to the ceiling. It's hard not to just drink him in, admiring the smooth structure of his jawline, and the rise and fall of his chest. He's the sight of perfection, and somehow I'm lucky enough to be here with him.

"Because it meant acknowledging my own feelings," he tells me, causing me to sit up, leaning onto my elbow to meet his eyes. "And you needed Stevie more than you needed me."

"Wait... you had feelings for me, too?"

"I mean, I thought you were cute," he says. "When we met, I was with Mia, but I won't say that I didn't think about it once or twice after we broke up."

"You had a crush on me." I grin. Everything I was reading as weird and out of the ordinary for Greyson had all been signs of jealousy. He was jealous of Jonas. He wanted me when I wanted him, and all I had to do was just tell him how I felt. If I had, none of this dancing around would have happened. We could have just been together.

He rolls his eyes at me, but that doesn't stop him from leaning up and kissing me quickly. "Yeah, maybe, I did. Seeing you with Jonas nearly killed me."

"Well, you should have kissed me sooner."

"What about you?" he asks as he turns to mirror my position, resting his cheek in the palm of his hand. "You could have made a move."

"Yeah, but..."

"But nothing!" he laughs.

"Okay, okay," I say, holding my hands up in defense as I roll onto my back. "We're both fools then."

"That seems fair," he says as he scoots over, running his fingers along my stomach toward my belly button and down to my hip as he moves over me. "We just had to find our timing."

"Yeah," I say, a small smile creeping onto my face before falling as knots in my stomach form. "Why is it different now?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said you never acknowledged this... us, because I needed Stevie more than I needed you," I say and tilt my head. "What's different now?"

"I don't know," he admits. "I wish I did... I just think there's room for us both now."

My lips curl up as I lean up, kissing him gently. "Yeah, I think you're right."

When I pull back, he leans in and buries his face in the crook of my neck as he wraps me in his arms and holds me tightly. "Do you know how hard it is being the good guy? Sometimes I just want you all to myself, you know that?"

"I do now." I bite down on my bottom lip as I lean my head against his. "It's okay to be a little selfish every now and again."

"Is that so?"

I hum gently and grin to myself.

I just can't shake this warmth. All I want to do is smile around him.

"You're so damn beautiful," he mutters before kissing the corner of my lip, trailing his hands down my ribs until his finger touches my healed ink. "So... about those butterflies."

"What about them?"

"You said they were vital."

I hum gently, nodding my head.

"So?"

"What?" I laugh, a teasing smile resting on my lips.

He shakes his head at me, knowing that I'll keep avoiding until he just up and asks me what he's slyly trying to get out of me. "Do I give them to you?"

My lips curl up as I bring my hand up to his jaw, brushing my thumb over his cheek. Part of my heart is laced with fear that if I let him in, I'm setting myself up for heartbreak. It doesn't feel possible to feel this inexplicably happy with another person, but I'm fooling myself, because he wedged his way into my heart before I even handed him the key.

"So many," I whisper gently into the air, and it feels like I'm pouring my heart out to him, screaming at the top of my lungs for him to take it and never let go.