No Promises

chapter thirty-three

SOMETIMES IT FEELS like I blinked, and everything changed. It feels like only yesterday I was showing up outside Greyson's apartment like a wounded puppy looking for haven but in reality, my first semester is over and done with. I'm officially done my first semester, and it doesn't feel real. I spend my nights next to Greyson, and it still doesn't feel real.

I blinked.

I blinked, and it feels like I'm a completely different person. And maybe it's not that it feels like I'm a different person, maybe it's that I am. I'm coming into my own, and I thought I had already done that. I've never been one to shy away from who I was or who I want to be, but I think somewhere along the way I got too in my head about everything.

I've learned to trust myself.

To trust in the gut feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me to follow my heart. The longer I tried to avoid the truth, the harder it became to believe the lies I was telling myself. When I finally let go and just let myself feel, everything made sense.

There was no second where I felt like I had made the wrong decision or that my heart had led me astray. It all felt right from the very beginning. I never once regretted letting Greyson in, embracing my feelings for him, I thought I needed to somehow fix it. Now I know, I couldn't change my mind about him, not even if I tried.

He is my heart.

"Hey mom," I say into my phone as I climb out of my car, grabbing my bag from the passenger seat before shutting the door and locking up behind me. "What's up?"

"Just checking in," she says as I make my way towards the studio Jonas and Greyson are working on their EP at. "Today was your final submission for projects, right?"

"Yeah," I say as I pull the door open. "I actually just finished handing them all in, and I'm stepping into the studio Greyson and his bandmate, Jonas are working at."

"You've gotten quite close with Greyson, haven't you?"

I chew my bottom lip as I wave to the receptionist who waves me through to the studio, mouthing the number to Greyson and Jonas' when she sees me on the phone. I send her a thankful smile as I reach for my long piece of hair, twirling it around my finger as I head down the hall as I struggle to think of the right words.

"Yeah, you could say that," I say, chewing my bottom lip because I shouldn't be keeping my relationship with Greyson from her. I need to tell her, but it seems impossibly complicated.

"Still no word on the dorm?" she asks.

I grind my teeth this time as I stop in front of the door to the studio Greyson and Jonas are in and swallow. It's been easy to keep the truth from her, but I'm realizing lying has never helped anything. Maybe she'll be okay with it if I just tell her the truth about my living situation, and that there is a room for me, I just didn't take it.

"Okay, don't freak out."

"Robyn."

I sigh as I lean into the door, squeezing my eyes shut. "They emailed me a few weeks ago and said there was a room available."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asks, a small gasp in her question.

"Because Greyson asked me to stay."

"Robyn Louise."

"I'm sorry," I say. "I should have told you, but he's been making sure that I'm taking care of myself, and it's so much better living with someone I know instead of a stranger."

"You should have told me."

"I know," I say. "I didn't think you'd be okay with it."

"Smart girl," she says, before exhaling. "We're going to talk about this, okay? Isaiah and I were thinking about coming there on Friday to celebrate you finishing your first term."