Herbert Spineless Springbottom looked immaculate in his three piece, navy, woolen suit. There in the mirror, his image looked back with protracted pride. His tie was a royal red and knotted in the shelby style. His shoes were blacker than a lump of fresh coal and gleamed of gratuitous affluence.
'Will Sir be taking the suit and shoes home?' the tailor asked.
'No, I don't quite like the cut of it'
'It makes me look small and from a lower station in life'
This was a remarkable statement by any stretch of an exaggeration.
Herbert stood six foot seven and held no position in life or society.
His bank account was non existent and his brazen neck was harder than a hangmans smile.
'No, let it out at the shoulders and I will collect it next Saturday',
Herbert knew he would not be returning and walked out with a head full of unbridled contemplation.
His ego needed flattering and this episode restored his view of himself as a lost son of high society.
As he turned into a side street he walked past an an Army Surplus Store. There he beheld the uniform of a Nazi Third Reich SS officer.
' The uniform in the window' he said to the shop assistant.
' I want to try it on'
'All of it, Sir?' came the reply
'Yes! The Jackboots, cap, everything'
'Also the Iron Cross'
'Yes Sir'
' The changing rooms are just behind that grey door to your left'
Herbert stood in his full height and gazed upon his image.
Even though he despised the Nazis he was a student of History; knew there were some good men amongst them.
Stauffenberg was one of those officers. That brave man who tried to assassinate Hitler and paid for it with his life.
His image gazed back and he gave the salute in mock indignation.
He looked official and authorative. The Aryan glint in his eye.
Then he clicked his heels sharply and thought he saw something in the mirror which would have unnerved a lesser man.
A swastika flag seemed to flutter in the wind. He reached out to the mirror and incredibly it became a portal to Nazi Germany.
Steadily he stepped in and looked on with incredulity.
All around him were Nazi supporters and officialdom.
He held his nerve and when he spoke it was in fluent German.
A staff car pulled alongside him.
'Reichsmarshal Fokker! We have been looking for you!
'The Fuhrer wants to see you immediately!'
'Our orders are to take you to his quarters'
Herbert Spineless Springbottom turned around and the shop was no longer there. He eased himself into the staff car and a strange sensation overtook him. He was about to change the course of the War. Hitler was about to meet his greatest nemesis ever.
A man from the future. A man who despised Nazism and tyranny everywhere. A capable, charming man with a brazen neck harder than a hangmans smile. Herbert Spineless Springbottom.
Hitler stood facing Herbert.
Herbert stood erect and threw out his arm in salute.
'Heil Hitler!'
Hitler's sullen face broke into a smile.
Herbert was brought into the War room and shown the battle plans for an invasion of Britain.
Churchill didn't know it but Fate had intervened in his favour.
The exploits of the most unlikeliest hero, Herbert Spineless Springbottom, were about to begin.
YOU ARE READING
Weird Reads
PoetryPoems & Prose to read when your coffee is on the brew. A mixture of the light and dark in life. Strange writing from the pen of a weird mind. Caution advised before reading.
