How To Annoy Harry Potter Characters

Voldemort Part 2

Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."

Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy.'

Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.

Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric acquaintance.

Cuddle him at random moments.

Sign him up for Little-League.

Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.

Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.

Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie.'

Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world.

Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore.

Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.

Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.

Write sonnets for him.

Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.

Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.

Tell people he's 'really just a big softie.'

Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildly depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak.'

Mock his baldness.

Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (Ie: another of his attempted 'evil moments')

Get him drunk.

Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbaya.'

Let him catch you trying on Death Eater robes.

Be Harry Potter. Be alive.

As he's plotting dark deeds, pretend to cough and mutter things like 'Not gonna work, or 'stupid.'

Call him 'Champ' or 'Tiger.' Refer to yourself as 'Coach.'

Three words: Potter Puppet Pals. ( when i shift next im making a puppet show hehe)

When he gives you an order, stare at him blankly and drool.

Kill Harry.

On the next Valentine's Day, decorate his lair.

Paint his fingernails hot pink while he's sleeping, then place a permanent sticking charm on them so he can't remove the color.

Trade his black robes in for pink pajamas.

Insist that it's opposite day and paint a lightning bolt on his forehead.

At Death Eater meetings, repeatedly accuse Voldemort of glue sniffing addictions.

Only speak in questions. As soon as Voldy makes a statement, shout "I win!"

Arrive at a Death Eater meeting late, say you're sorry but you didn't have time for lunch, and you'll be nibbling during the meeting. Then eat raw potatoes.

Save an empty seat in the Death Eater circle for your imaginary friend Clyde.

At random times in a conversation, say to him, "Hi," "Hello Sir, how are you?" or "Have a good day, thank you."