How To Annoy Harry Potter Characters

The Death eaters

1.Remind them that their leader is in fact a "filthy half breed"

2.Buy a collar and leash. Attach to Fenrir Greyback. Ask if "little fenny wenny" wants a nice walkie.

3.Ask loudly how many spells it takes to kill a child.

Tell them not to talk of this, as Voldemort is still trying to figure that one out himself.

4. And we all know how he likes to try his best to 'go it alone'. (Now would be a good time to point out how a block of cheese has better, more successful, plots than him)

5. Modify the dark mark to be more socially acceptable. Pink with bows? I think so.

6. Inform Lucius that his son is part of many fan fictions. Most portraying him to be good at heart and to have fallen for one particular mud blood.

7. When he asks to see these promptly show him slash fanfiction. Draco/Harry preferably. Watch him squirm.

8.Make Nagini into a beautiful handbag with matching shoes and purse set.

9.Charm the death eater uniform to be in Gryffindor colours, complete with glasses and scar reminiscent of their favourite nuisance. Make it permanent.

10. Give out gold stars to anyone who is 'particularly evil'

11. Smile, nod and if possible cry at death eater meeting. Continuously repeat in a loving voice that you taught Voldie all he knows.

12. Play the Macarena loudly as any dramatic battles commence. Numa Numa would also work well here.

13. Follow Yaxley around and bug him to know his name.

14. Rub in the fact that JK Rowling didn't feel he was important enough to have one.

15. Accuse the Carrows of incest. Infact, accuse them all of incest!

16. Refer to Voldemort as "the man who let the boy live seven times"

17. Devise him a list of alternative hobbies.

18. Recommend knitting

19. Charm pictures of Ted and Andromeda together to Bellatrix's walls.

20. When the death eaters lose a battle, be sure to scream "AGAIN?!!" in a voice of sheer disbelief.

21. Make hissing noises frequently.

22. Assure them its parseltongue.

23. Ask to borrow Lucius' pimp cane.

24. Follow Draco around singing "the sun'll come out tomorrow"

25. When he gets agitated tell him its okay, scoop him into your best hug and assure him you'll purchase him a bottle of fake tan.

26. Get bellatrix a coupon for a haircut.

27. Remind her to remove any small animals, in particular any birds that may have gotten stuck, before hand.

28. Loudly whisper to Snape that you know all his plans and secrets and where his alliances truly lie.

29. When he gets nervous wink and look over to Draco Malfoy. Nod and wink again.

30. Loudly tell Voldemort that you enjoyed the other night, but you really do need your bra/boxers back and that he should go buy his own now.

31. Sit back and watch Bellatrix break down. Smile sweetly.

32. Use the imperius curse to make them all believe they are in fact part of a gardening and book club. And that they are now called "Death Readers"

33. Steal their death eater masks.

34. Add glitter to said masks to make them look more festive!

35. Give Snape a bottle of head and shoulders for Christmas.

36. Eat one of Voldys Horcruxes. Or even better, get one of the other death eaters to do it!

37. Steal their wands. Replace with pointed twigs.

38. Write "I wish I were invincible" on the back of Voldemort's shoes. (First however you must suggest to him that he wears shoes)

39. Spike their food and drinks with poly juice potion. Containing Dumbledore's hair.

40. When Lucius is on the top floor of his mansion, shout up to him saying" Rapunzel Rapunzel, let down your hair!!"

41. Pass out leaflets asking them to be blood donors.

42. Use the imperius curse. Have Draco tell Lucius that he has always been madly in love with Hermione Granger.

43. Tell them all to stop repressing their anger. Constantly.

44. Tell them how they all die. In detail. (Scare Lucius, Draco and Narcissa into thinking they die)

45. Sing Aerosmith's "dude looks like a lady" at Bellatrix. Or Lucius. Either way,Both will take offence.

46. Ask Barty Crouch Jr if he would like some lipgloss or chapstick.

47. Poly juice potion. Draco Malfoys hair. Snapes desk. Handcuffs. No clothes. Nuff Said.

48. Sleep with Lucius. Afterwards comment that Draco's talent definatley didn't come from him. Roll over or walk off unamused.

49. Put plaques on their bedroom doors reading "the wizard who died" (excludes the malfoys)

50. And finally, when Voldemort gives you a command answer "yes ma'am" and quickly walk away. If he says anything about it, act like you have no idea what he's talking about.

And remember, you must always remind him of this! "My lord, your blood pressure"!! every time he gets a little angry.