Westedge

Chapter 11: The Sweets and Sours

Chapter 11

"What's done is done... I'm sorry..."

Leo Valdez

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Leo V.

I wake up to the sound of my roaring alarm and my terrible morning vision. Again. As I get up I start to feel the heaviness in my heart weigh in, making me feel worse and worse each step I take. I begin to do my normal morning routine; get up, make breakfast, mark off the calendar, and get ready. Each day and everyday this happened, and it all turned like a cycle. I felt like a zombie; slowly decaying because of the need of brains, but in this case for me, it was the need for my twin and my happiness.

Ever since that horrifying day, I turned into a storm of anxiety and low self-esteem. Luckily I didn't turn to suicide, only because I knew that if my sister woke up, she'll need me there as well. But I always have that thought in mind, trying to make me doubt my decisions on whether to continue or not.

As I went to go sit down with my breakfast, I glance at the calendar and sigh. It's been two whole months with her gone. Even though it's been that long, I still can't say her name without cringing. It's horrifying.

It's terrible because it's been long enough and I'm still not over it. I sigh and try to relax my tense shoulders. All these feelings only from her name. I hate it. "At least I don't have to go to work today." I told myself with a small smile.

At the end of everything that happened on that one day, I called Mr. Abate and told him about the sudden outburst, and he said he understood, even though I know he didn't, and that he'll allow me to keep my job. At least he gave me a bit of relief. Maybe he did know how iI felt, maybe from not losing a twin, but from the sudden stress and anxiety.

I go to brush my teeth and I look in the mirror, for one of the first times in a long period of sadness. My skin is paled, my eyes are blood shot, and my curly locks look as if they've been deflated, like I haven't cared for them in so long. I feel terrible, I look terrible, I am terrible!

Then I hear the door ring, making me jump up in surprise. Is it some church advertisement again? They've been coming non-stop ever since she went to sleep, and so far I'm really close to just slamming the door in their face. I'm not in the mood for tolerating no longer.

I slowly drag myself to the door and begin my usual saying: "Okay I'm not christian, leave me alone, may god be with me indeed yes, go away, I can't-" Before I can continue I heard the laugh from the only person that could make me smile.

"Calm down, I'm not part of the christian organization." Says Ray, pulling a part of her hair out of her face. She's been the only one who hasn't treated me differently since the incident.

"Sorry about that. Want to come in?" I ask, making her put on a small smile. She nods, squirming herself past me and awkwardly stumbling herself into the cozy apartment. She sat on the edge of the couch, tapping nervously, almost like she'd rather leave then stay.

"Are you okay?" I ask, keeping my shaking hands together, still broken up and trying to seem as joyful as possible, even though that always fails. That and I have to be nice around her, of course. She looks up at me, almost smiling, then does the most surprising and wonderful movement that happened to me:

She hugged me. Never in all my life have I seen her hug anyone, or been hugged by her, Maybe her mom once or twice, but she was never the first one to make the first move. I was astonished, but my emotions took over and I hugged back, making her tense. I felt like such an idiot to make such a move, but I didn't care, no more. I needed so badly care and love at the time, and I got enough of it just by that one hug.