Out of Reach

Chapter One

ꕤ Amber ꕤ

"Sometimes, the most positive experiences can be the scariest." My mom's words echoed in my mind as I stood there, glaring at myself in the mirror of my empty childhood bedroom.

"College is about finding yourself, finding out who you truly are." A lump began forming in my throat as a slow-burning sensation pricked at the corners of my eyes.

"Remember, you're going to be on your own for the first time. So, you know, make wise choices and all that other stuff I'm supposed to say as a concerned mother". At that moment, I had chuckled at my mom's attempt to make a light-hearted joke, but hearing it again now only made me more aware of the fact I have been lonely for a while now.

"Amber! Is that everything?"

My heart jolted at the sound of her voice from the bottom of the stairs. I quickly looked at the bed, which was neatly made, at the dark stained wood floor, bare, exposing the grooves and cracks that once were hidden by the plush cotton area rug. My closet doors were tossed open, with random items of clothing and plastic hangers vomiting out of it, and sprawled across the shelves and floor. My grip tightened around the last cardboard box.

"One more box!" I turned off my bedroom lights, shouting downstairs.

As I was about to head downstairs, a warm, blinding light masked my face. I squinted, peering at Tyler's slightly ajar bedroom door. I put the box down at the top of the stairs and pushed his door opened, exposing his room.

Like mine, his bed was neatly made. But unlike mine, his bed was entirely made, complete with those decorative pillows that come with the comforter set that no one uses. The sheets were untouched, not one wrinkle on them. His desk looked like a staged model; his pens perfectly lined up next to his few football trophies and neatly stacked notebook. My fingertips skated across its smooth wooden surface, stopping at the metal picture frame.

I gulped, picking it up and examining the four faces in the photo. A smile tried to negotiate its way onto my face but was unsuccessful.

"Amber, honey! We should be getting on the road soon. I don't want you to be late!"

I put the picture back in its designated spot and took one last look before I latched the door closed.

"Sorry, Mom. I was making sure I had everything." I shoved the box in the last free corner of the cluttered trunk.

"I cannot believe my baby is going to college." She threw her arms around me, pulling me towards her.

She tries to hide her sniffle by joking, "Are you sure you don't want to go somewhere closer?"

"Mom, I'm only going to be two hours away." She tightened the embrace.

"I know, I know. I'm just going to miss having you at home". She sniffled again and swiped a few fallen tears away.

"I'm practically going to be home," I said, trying to lighten the mood. She smiled, nodding her head in agreement. I checked the time on my phone, seeing that we're past the time we were designated to leave.

"You're right. Okay, what do you say? Let's get going, huh?" She closed the trunk as I made my way to the passenger seat.

"Let's just hope your father is on his way already." My mom remarked as she started the engine.

The ride went fast, and in what felt like a matter of minutes, we were there. I was worried we wouldn't have much to talk about on the ride there, but the time seemed to fly by. Once we pulled onto campus, we followed the signs that read 'Orientation / Student Check-in' until we reached a parking lot.