Dear God,
I know that I have felt that I was in a "dark" place and that I have felt these past two years have been "very similar". I felt that I have been traveling in Circles, but is it possible that I haven't? Is it possible that I have been only going in a "spiral"?
Yes there is a difference. A Circle is where everything turns out the same, and I don't do ANYTHING to try to change it. I basically as the lyrics have said... go in Circles.
A spiral is where You help me, and I feel something different this time. There might be friends, bands, music, writing, music, music's "Melodyies", or even YOU I can feel this time.
I know that this year I actually feel something different. Last year I had felt exactly how Alan has felt. I wanted to give up... let go... give up EVERYTHING! I wanted to just let go, but there was this very very very very small light that was WAYYYYY off in the distance that I could not see. I knew it was there, but even in the midst of the darkness I knew that THAT small light is what kept me going. I knew that where that little light is the dark never won. It will NEVER win!
If you look at THE Alan Powell or even mention this guy's name what do other's hear? Do they hear the wise words given in his heart through You? Do they see the handsome movie star with an incredibly looong beard once in a while. (That looked like shaggy dog if you ask me). Do they hear his sweet bass voice? What do they hear? What do they think? I don't think they could have ever pictured THIS Alan. The one in the darkness without hope. Living without his kids or his wife. I guess you never know what people go through until you get to know their story. It comforts me that I am not the only one that has ever lived in fear, or that I was the only one that has ever wanted to give up on everything. I never thought that "I" would ever turn out the way I did, but I do not regret any decision that I have done. I feel that You have made me stronger from all of them. I can be there for my friends as they might have some tough times, and they will be there for me. I know that You have put them in my life for a reason, and I know that. I never thought I would be here or even thought that the road trip here would be a crazy ride, but if You take the wheel of my life, then my life can be an outta my mind highway. "Crazy" is in a 'normal' person's vocabulary. I'd rather be "OUTTA MY MIND" and I'm really lovin livin this way.
I know that I will have bad times, but I feel that if You are the little light that can keep me going, then I will never give up on You. I never want to give up because I know that You have a Plan. I know that I keep saying this, but I can feel it being true. I want to believe it is true. It will always be true. I know that I have my "plans" but sometimes I don't know if I have plans any more. I want to know that You have amazing plans for me. I want to know what I was set up to do and learn my plans, but I also don't want to know them at the same time. I want to be surprised because I know that my life is in Your hands.
The song Circles is pretty special to me, (One of many) I know that this describes the way that I have felt the past year and a half last time I remember when I felt "You weren't there" or "You just didn't care about me" or I thought I "didn't want to care about You". I know I should have never thought any of this, but I felt very broken at the time when I thought I was a failure. I thought there was no hope. I was completely surrounded by darkness. I had felt the same way just a little bit under a year ago. Exactly a year before my "surrounded by dark times" I had discovered this band was CHRISTIAN! I know that I wasn't completely lost that time, but I felt that this time I was just completely lost. I wanted to give up everything. I felt lost, but was I really?
I thought I was going round and round and round in the same Circle (not just because the math I was dealing with was on circles). I think this song is a fun one to sing, learn to play, and sing along while dancing around my room spinning around in Circles in Your wonderful light that I have been given to me through that GIANT star in the sky that I have a privalage to see. Every. Single. Day.
I did not want to live in a Circle life. I know that You have never given anyone a "Circle"ed life.
You have told me that I am chosen for a reason. I was lost in the dark to only notice that the light was even brighter than ever before. I was called to spread this light and use it to make other's stronger too!
1 Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of the darkenss into His wonderful light.
Out of the darkness, and into the light when a blind "Christian" can see it's a beautiful sight!"
Love Your Loving Daughter ❤️
Love Your Beautiful Princess 👑
Melody 💚❤️💙
YOU ARE READING
Plans (The Day Music Started to Heal Sequel)
RandomMelody is back and I told you her story was not finished.... Far from finished. She still has many struggles, and many that anybody can relate to. She still holds onto her music, but can her song melodies help her this time? She has many songs for d...
