Plans (The Day Music Started to Heal Sequel)

Mashup of My Feels

Dear God,

Today has been a mixup/mashup and I think you give me a soft blow when I'm mad at something.

Last weekend I knew that you kept "saying" through music that it was going to be ok, but I was still FREAKING OUT!!! My test was going to be on Monday. Over the weekend I studied a little bit, but it's never enough. I know that math used to be easier because it just came naturally, but now it's just plain difficult!!

I was SOOOOO glad that the test was pushed back a day, so I was able to get help just ONE MORE time! I was going for after school tutoring with my teacher just ONE MORE time! I hope it helped this time!

I went to study some more (the next day) for the test during the "free period" I got to have. I thought it was a gift from You that you gave me a period to study! HAHAHA I should've known there was a twist coming! Here the "free period" was for an assembly!! Wow and I NEEDED to study ahhh!!! I needed to study so I feel prepared, and I wasn't sure how prepared I was. I was scared.

Of course the assembly is about future and college and how school will help us prepare for college or wherever we will go. I don't know where You want me to go because I thought I "knew" what I want to be, but I feel You are trying to pull me down a different road. I feel You telling me You have a plan, but I am still scared. I know You always have a purpose for everything and everyone, but how is it I'm still scared of the "Unknown"? I don't know what to feel.

Then comes a free band period where we can do whatever because we have a substitute, but I think this substitute is one of my favorites because he shows me a couple of chords once a while. He is one of those great players that loves Music and you can go to anytime. He is a substitute that he will talk about anything. I forgot to study, and the test was THE NEXT period!!!! I am nervous and some were asking why I was nervous. I just said the teacher's name, and they knew what I was going threw or at least heard. Everyone knows it. I was nervous, yet not at the same time! Is that weird?

The period gets here and I'm tapping like crazy. I kept saying stuff like "I'm nervous I'm nervous I'm nervous" and this friend says "you'll do fine".

I actually get the test after the teacher says "I know you won't finish get as much as you can done." I VERY STRONGLY dislike not finishing something!!!! I actually thought I knew what I was doing that time, and If I only had a few more minutes I could have finished the test. (He curves the test but I don't want to fail ANOTHER test!!!!!) I left some blank, and I wasn't devastated that time. I was just plain MAD!

I plugged my earbuds into my ears the next class because we were just working on a project, and of course what better way to work than with music?
I have ONE day to finish this project? How will I get it done by tomorrow?

I am calmed down a little bit from my math test, but still jittery.

I am going to band next. Maybe it'll help (I thought) because I still had that substitute. We actually had to play! Oh well I like playing sometimes. Even if I still have to play again after school... I love my music and band and stuff!!

Music is just so powerful in my life. I feel it always has been. And it always will. The power of music! Music has its own super power. It is its own super power! You gave some to use it, and they have taken it to new heights. I can name a few guys that have helped me a lot these past couple years and I couldn't have done it if You never lead me to them! I have to say THANK YOU GOD!!! Thank you for showing me Alan, Caleb, Chad, Joey, and Kyle and their wonderful words that come with their amazing voices! Kyle might not physically be part of the band still, but he still has made an impact in many lives. Even mine! (And I still count him as "one of the guys") They all have and I couldn't have asked for more!

After band I notice that the video that I have been waiting for FOREVER FINALLY COMES OUT AHHH!!! I waited up ALLLLLL last night and ALLL this morning to see if the video would come out! I was trying to tell myself because I knew You were trying to tell me "Be patient Melody it'll come!" I knew that if I fell asleep last night it would come out as soon as I would drift off. I waited a few more minutes... Then a few more minutes... Then a few more. I realized it wasn't happening (I learned from the few livestreams that they might be BAAAAAAAAACK but they still don't know what they are doing.) so I fell asleep finally. It's ok though. This song has a comforting feeling after waiting a day that helped me after freaking out about this test the past few days. I don't think it could have come out at a better time. Your timing is perfect! You ARE perfect, and I couldn't have asked for anything more. If it would have came out last night it would have been "just a song" but it came out when I needed it. You seem to do that with songs for me. I love this feeling.

You seem to give me hope with my music.

It happened again! I don't know how to explain it. I am always wondering who "he" will be, and today my friend told me that she saw a cute guy. He asked her about her (pink recognizable tshirt) and said he likes that band too! I was a tad jealous, but my Spotify played Hide Your Love Away (as I am trying to talk to You now) not back to back but okay once then it played another song and then played it again! Thank You God! I know that I might not be able to fit all of Life's same colored pieces in a puzzle, but sometimes I don't need to see the picture... Yet anyway. It almost is comforting I know you are writing my story... Writing my plans for me.

Plans to give me a hope and a future.