𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 ┆ᵗᵒᵐᵐʸ ᵗᵘᵇᵇᵒ ᵖˡᵃᵗᵒⁿⁱᶜ ᵒⁿᵉˢʰᵒᵗˢ

silenced

TW// Hurtful thoughts, the gif above ↑, self hatred, cussing,

Summary: this isn't gonna be much of a Tommy & Tubbo oneshot, but more of like, my opinion on Tubbo's position and situation put into a story.

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I'm so fucking tired of this..

Tubbo though, as his body slowly slid down the wall, sitting on the ground.

He ran his hand through his messy hair, and exhaled a breath he didn't even knew he was holding.

I just exiled my best friend...

The brunette's mind was starting to overwork, as relazation started to hit in. Everything started to hit in. Who even was on his side at this point? Do they not realize I'm doing the right thing?

𝐓𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐨 𝐏𝐎𝐕 (𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭)

Do they not know I did it all to protect L'Mamberg? My L'Mamberg? I just gathered every bit of courage that was still left - which wasn't much - and kicked Tommy, my closest friend, out of this country, and yet, still no one listens.

I could feel my hands shaking, and my eyes stung as tears streamed down them.

The thing that hurt most, apart from seeing Tommy go, was that they didn't even hesitate to call me a specific name. That one fucking name I feared to be compared to ever since Wilbur called me up on stage.

Jschlatt

Schlatt

Tschlatt even.

I am not...I am not a monster, right?

I am not an evil dictator who only seek fear and power, right?

They do realize, that I am not Schlatt, right?

Right?

It doesn't matter...goddammit, of course it doesn't fucking matter.

There's no general right or wrong. If you do something the majority disapproves with, you're instantly in the wrong, even if you're practically in the right. That could be my current situation wrapped up, really.

I just wish they could let me talk for once. For once listen to my side of the story. Listen to my ideas and plans. The only times they actually listened, was when I snapped.

God, why is it always me that's the silenced one? Do I really not get a saying? Am I really that fucking irrelevant to them? If so, why the hell am I still here?

Do they really see me, as just a "traumatized" "naive" and stupid child? The one who only gets manipulated?Am I just that to them?

When will they fucking realize, that I have a mind of my own? When will they open their goddamn eyes, and see, that I don't need their assistance, if the assistance means manipulation, silence and hate? I might be young, but I'm not stupid. That's what they don't get.

I carefully put my hands in front of my face, sobs escaping my mouth here and there.

Why can't I just speak for once?

Why can't I just have a saying?

Why is everything that I do wrong? Because honestly, every little move I do, just feels like a mistake now.

It hurts, because truly, now I don't have anyone on my side. The only one who was with me through everything is gone. I exiled him. And honestly, I just really fucking hate myself for that decision, even though I myself know, that it was the right thing.

This is one situation that is just too hard to deal with.

If only they had just listened to me from the beginning...if only they just let me speak for once, maybe, just maybe we wouldn't be here, in this situation.

But of course, what can I do? Whatever I say is not going to change anything. They won't hear me anyway...

꒰ 🥥 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

Oh boy...pain...I only feel pain after today's stream...can I just say, that Tubbo's chat was terrible?! Holy molly...that was one toxic chat...people really need to realize it's a roleplay, and that Tubbo cares For Tommy dearly.

I legit saw stuff like "cancel Tubbo".."Tubbo should be killed off" and just many more hate comments in general....idk it just made me very sad

Also I apologize for any grammar/spelling errors it's 1 AM :p