𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 ┆ᵗᵒᵐᵐʸ ᵗᵘᵇᵇᵒ ᵖˡᵃᵗᵒⁿⁱᶜ ᵒⁿᵉˢʰᵒᵗˢ

trauma

ATTENTION PLEASE

I just wanted to say, before you proceed, I am not writing this to mock ANYONE. Do not think of me as a moron that uses real life tragedies as "writing material". This is more of a vent to try and take my mind of some stuff.

TW// mentions of suicide, disturbing information, panic attack, cussing

About: While browsing YouTube, Tubbo stumbles across a song that was made for a suicide victim. Tubbo decides to look into it, ending up on a very small reddit page, where two more cases were discussed about. He found three links to livestreams that showed the suicide of all three teens, making him traumatized. Tommy comforts him.

Side note: I'm doing this because I have just watched some stuff. There are videos available on YouTube of three people committing suicide, but I will not leave links for them, don't try and ask for them please. Also, this isn't meant to offend anyone, I do not think of the unnamed victims as fandoms - that would be disgusting. If you still feel like reading this, then go ahead.

꒰ 🥥 ꒱ؘ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

Tubbo had no idea what to think of anything at the moment. He knew this was definitely a bad idea, but he was curious. His eyes darted over to the third comment, saying I shouldn't have watched that... That should definitely be a warning sign, but the feeling of curiosity was bigger.

He was currently on a pretty small reddit page, with about 13-14 people in it. There were only a few posts, well, most of them were comments. He looked over at the first comment, asking about one of the suicide victims - as they were interested about them. Someone replied to that comment, trying to educate the fist person as best as they could, also leaving two links with "you can watch the livestream here". Then, the commenter replied with "I shouldn't have watched that..." This should've alarmed the brunette, but he decided to ignore the red flags, as well as the fact that he was pretty sensitive. He clicked on the link, that took him to YouTube, surprising him. He felt nervous tingles when the "disturbing content" warning popped up, meaning this video was definitely age,restricted. He pressed continue, and the video started loading.

It was a train station. Tubbo's eyes widened. YouTube surely wouldn't allow this sort of content on their platform, right? Surely not, right? No words were spoken whatsoever, though, Tubbo could definitely hear them breathing heavily. He watched as they slowly put their (most likely) school bags on a bench, then proceeding to put the camera, facing the rails. Surely not, right? Tubbo thought. His body was already shaking, and his heart was racing. They weren't going to do it, right?

Tubbo's finger tapped on the screen, revealing that there were fourteen more minutes till the end of the video, which worried him even more. Suddenly, the sound of a train coming near made Tubbo's breath stop. He watched in shock as the person looked in the direction of the train, and jumped. Now, the only thing visible on screen, was a train speeding forward, but stopping. The train stopped, and the video went suddenly quiet. No screams, no cries, no anything, making it even more eerie. The brunette immediately turned his phone off, throwing it across his room, not even slightly worried about whether it was now cracked or not.

Shit...shit shiT SHIT SHIT SHIT

Tubbo's mind raced as his already unstable breathing sped up, making it hard for him to think straight. His trembling arms were touching the bed as sweat built up on his now pale face. I just wa...I just...I just...no...I

He couldn't even form words in his mind. He started to sob. He couldn't believe what he just saw. It must have been fake, right? There was no way it was actually real, right? Tubbo started to choke on his sobs as his mind kept racing, the body of that person jumping down and the train being in the camera view within seconds kept replaying in his overworked mind.

"Tubbo? Is everything oka-" Tommy started, opening the door without knocking, as usual. His eyes widened once he saw in what state his best friend was. The blonde quickly ran over to Tubbo. "Hey! Hey Tubbo, look at me." Said Tommy placing his hands on Tubbo's tear stained cheeks. The brunette looked at him with hurt teary eyes, his breathing still uneven. Once Tubbo saw him, he wrapped his shaky arms around his best friend, burying his face in his chest and continued to sob. Tommy returned the embrace, his hand combing through Tubbo's feathery soft hair. "It's okay now, Tubbo. It's okay." He said in a soft voice. He had no idea what was going on, but he had to make sure Tubbo was calm.

After about ten minutes, Tubbo had finally calmed down, soft hiccups coming out of his mouth here and there. He was still in Tommy's arms, not wanting to let go because of how safe he felt. But he decided to speak.

"They jumped.." Was all that he could manage to say. He wished he could give the taller the whole context, but he was afraid he'd just break down again. "What?" Asked Tommy. "In the video...they jumped...I...I can't say more I just...I...I-"

"It's okay Tubbo..you don't have to tell me, yeah? Whatever you saw was definitely not very good for you, so you don't have to say anything." Tubbo was so grateful Tommy understood. He could always pass him his phone, but he didn't want Tommy to watch it. He was just glad his friend understood.

"Thank you Tommy..."

"Always here, big man."

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩

Well....here it is I guess...I'm very sorry if this seems offensive. I just felt like writing my emotions out because I don't feel that well at the moment. It's fine though, writing helps me <3