The Birth of Wisdom

chapter 11

A/N:

Y'all don't hate me too bad, I know this update is late, by bad! However, by birthday just passed 01/31/15! Ya girl 23 now! Anyway, I partied for basically three days straight. I had fun, shots no chasers, amazing food, family, friends, and good laughs. Sorry for the wait! -Enjoy

Tianna's POV

To say that I am shocked to see Josh at my doorstep would be a complete understatement. I haven't seen him in years, but I know that's it's him without a doubt, without him even saying a word. It was always his eyes that drew me in, I could be mad as hell, and all he had to do was give me that look. I don't know what it is about his eyes, but I absolutely love them. "What are you doing here?" I stuttered in complete shock.

"I told you in my very first letter that I would come back for what belonged to me." He said smiling. "I am nobody's property Josh" I said below a whisper with tears in my eyes. "Tianna, I didn't mean it like that. You're right, you aren't anybody's property, you're a human being. What I meant was I told you no matter how far I had to travel, no matter who I had to go up against that I would get you back, and change your last name. I meant that, and I still feel that way. I've talked to your aunt, I know you're married. If your happy, I'll leave, if he's not treating you like you know I have, can, and will, then I'm taking you away from him. If he can't appreciate you, then let me. I still love you Tianna, I never stopped." He said lifting up my chin with his hand "look at me Tianna" he said softly. When I looked into his eyes, it was if my heart melted. "Josh, I love you too, but I just can't" I said looking away from him. "Okay, just answer a few questions, deal?" He said as I looked at him like he was crazy. "Are you married?" He asked me as if he didn't already know the answer.

"Yes, I have been for a few years." I said sitting down on the couch. "Are you happy with him as well as your marriage?" He asked me, I didn't reply, I just continued to stare at my hands in my lap. "Tianna, are you happy?" He asked me again, rising his voice just a little.

"No, Josh. I am not happy with Rico, I'm not happy with our so called marriage, and I am definitely not happy with my life" I said lowly, not thinking he heard me. "Lastly, has he ever hit you, or cheated on you?" He asked me and I definitely didn't want to answer but I knew he wouldn't let it go. "Yes, he's hit me, beat by ass, even put me in the hospital. And yes, he cheats on me, still does, sad he's in jail and still cheats" I said bitterly laughing as tears filled my eyes.

"Tianna when I left, I told you that if you moved on to be with somebody that would treat you just as good as I did and would. He is nothing like me. I would never degrade you, I would never disrespect you, I would never cheat on you, I would never lie to you, I would never put my hands on you in a violent manner, and I would never make you feel less than a woman. If you were mines, I'd wake up everyday and go to sleep every night thinking of new ways to show you just how much I love you. You deserves the utmost best, he clearly doesn't know or understand that. I know I left, but I had to baby, you must understand that. I am so damn disappointed" he sad angrily standing up.

"Disappointed with me?" I asked faintly, looking up at him.

"Yes, and no. I'm disappointed that you chose to be with somebody like him, and then you chose to stay. Then, I am disappointed and pissed off with myself for staying away for so long and not coming back sooner. I feel like all of this is my fault. Tianna, can you honestly tell me that you don't still love me, that you don't care about me?" He said looking deep into my eyes. It was as if he was searching for my soul through my eyes, like he could see past my eyes and see deep into my heart. I didn't answer him, I just walked away towards my guest bedroom, to my safe under the bed, under the floorboards. I grabbed the box and took the key out of my jewelry box. I came back into the living room to see him still sitting where I left him a few minutes ago. "Tianna I'm not leaving, so if-" he begin to say as I put my hand up to stop him. "Josh, even after all this time, I still have a place in my heart for you, only you, honestly. Nobody on this earth can replace you, nobody." I said placing the open box in his hands. I watched the shocked look on his face as he looked through everything. I literally had everything that had anything to do with us. I saved every movie ticket stub from the dates we had, receipts from restaurants, his hospital band from the night he pushed me out of the way for a car, a picture of us, and every single letter that he's ever written me. "I kept everything, I had no idea if we'd ever see each other again, or if you'd ever come back for me, but I just had to keep everything, as a reminder. It's the only thing that kept me sane being with Rico. I am aware, that probably seems weird but, I just needed something in my life worth living for, reading those letters when he wasn't around gave me that. I had a meaning to live, through you." I said, whispering the last part. He got off the couch and kneeled down in front of me whipping my tears away.